In 1983, not long after I had started a study on the early diagnosis of cerebral palsy (CP) in Finland that included developmental evaluations at predefined intervals, my supervisor contacted me. An ongoing national intervention study on alcohol consumption during pregnancy was based on the assumption that the effects of prenatal alcohol exposure could be verified at birth. This was, however, not the case and the researcher urgently needed someone to follow-up the children prenatally exposed to alcohol and their controls with no prenatal alcohol exposure. Suddenly I had over 200 infants to follow; half of them exposed to pre-or perinatal asphyxia and the other half to alcohol of various duration and dose during pregnancy. The respective outcomes of these two different exposures -CP and fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD)have played an important role in my professional life since.Domeij et al. 1 report a systematic review of the existing literature on how individuals with FASD and their biological or foster parents experience their life. To an insider in this field with over 30 years of clinical and research experience, these voices are no more than whispers of reality, but they do offer an important keyhole perspective into the life of a large number of children still being undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Living with FASD is hard, not only because of the various difficulties the children face when trying to cope with the daily challenges arising from their cognitive deficits and feeling different, but also because of the many adverse events they frequently have experienced during childhood. 2 Their parentsboth biological and fosterfind it hard to gain access to diagnostic facilities and multiprofessional support and feel left alone. Feelings of shame, blame, and guilt also need to be tackled. 3 Over the past 35 years, research on CP has covered a range of topics including prevention, epidemiology, definition, interventions, and quality of life; these encompass the whole life perspective with clear connections to clinical reality and to building services for children and their families. Most of the studies on FASD, however, have focused on trying to identify 'how much is safe to drink during pregnancy' and what the diagnostic criteria are. In short, whether the phenomenon of FASD truly exists. Far less research has been targeted on prevention and developing interventions. It comes as no surprise that the prevalence of FASD has proven to be much higher than expected. 4 During the last decades, the prevalence of FASD has been extensively studied using active case ascertainment in school settings. The latest study from the USA gives a conservative estimate of 1.1% to 5% among 7-year-old children, and a less conservative approach gives an estimate of 3% to 10%. 5 As a reminder, the prevalence of CP is around 0.2%. Both CP and FASD are lifelong disorders of varying severity.Recently, a young adolescent asked, 'why didn't anybody help my grandmother stop drinking'. The child's mother had FASD. The consequences of negle...