People Who Live Apart Together (LATs) – How Different are They?

Abstract

Abstract"Living apart together" -that is being in an intimate relationship with a partner who lives somewhere else -is increasingly recognised and accepted as a specific way of being in a couple. On the face of it, this is a far cry from the "traditional" version of couple relationships, where co-residence in marriage was placed at the centre and where living apart from one"s partner would be regarded as abnormal, and understandable only as a reaction to severe external constraints. Some commentators regard living apart together as a historically new family formwhere LATs can pursue a "both/and" solution to partnership -they can experience both the intimacy of being in a couple, and at the same time continue with preexisting commitments. LATs may even de-prioritize couple relationships and place more importance on friendship. Alternatively, others see LAT as just a "stage" on the way to cohabitation and marriage, where LATs are not radical pioneers moving beyond the family, but are cautious and conservative, and simply show a lack of commitment. Behind these rival interpretations lies the increasingly tarnished spectre of individualisation theory. Is LAT some sort of index for a developing individualisation in practice?In this paper we take this debate further by using information from the 2006 British Social Attitudes Survey. We find that LATs have quite diverse origins and motivations, and while as a category LATs are often among the more liberal in family matters, as a whole they do not show any marked "pioneer" attitudinal position in the sense of leading a radical new way, especially if age is taken into account.3

Do co-residence and intentions make a difference? Relationship satisfaction in married, cohabiting, and living apart together couples in four countries

“…These studies indicate that LAT couples comprise a substantial minority of couple relationships in many western societies. Duncan and Phillips (2010) report that about 10% of adults in the UK are living in a LAT relationship, with similar figures reported for the US, Australia, and other European countries (Kiernan 2000;Reimondos, Evans, and Gray 2011;Strohm et al 2010).The proportion of individuals in LAT relationships is high amongst younger age groups, and the never married. But there is also evidence that LAT relationships are relatively common amongst older age groups in some countries, particularly for divorced and widowed people, who may desire an intimate partnership whilst also retaining a high degree of autonomy (Karlsson and Borell 2002).…”

“…Even when "dating LAT's" are defined similarly to "girlfriend/boyfriend" relationships and "partner LAT's" are defined as more established long-term relationships are differentiated, there are few clearly distinguishable features between LAT couples and other groups (Duncan and Phillips 2010). Some research suggests that LAT couples place less priority on intimate love and sexual relationships than on friendships compared to those in other unions (Roseneil 2006), and hence may be less supportive of traditional partnering relationships.…”

“…It has also been suggested that LAT unions will become more common over time. Social and demographic forces such as the ageing of the population, increased life expectancy, increasing education and employment opportunities for women potentially leading to greater difficulties for couples to pursue career opportunities in the same geographical location, and high divorce rates may all contribute to a greater prevalence of LAT relationships in the future (Duncan and Phillips 2010;Haskey and Lewis 2006;Levin 2004).…”

“…Following Duncan and Phillips (2010), we define a LAT relationship as an intimate relationship between two people who reside in different households. This is likely to encompass quite a broad range of couples with varying motivations for living apart and at different stages of their life course.…”

“…The new patterns are characterized by a decline in lifelong marriage and an increasing number and complexity of non-marital relationships. These include de facto cohabitations and non-residential partnerships, such as couples living apart together (LAT), where people identify as being in an intimate relationship but not living with their partner (Duncan and Phillips 2010;Heuveline and Timberlake 2004;Kiernan 2004;Sobotka and Toulemon 2008). These changes highlight the importance of examining variations in relationship experiences and outcomes, such as relationship satisfaction, across union types.…”