We describe a general approach to the theory of self consistent transfer operators. These operators have been introduced as tools for the study of the statistical properties of a large number of all to all interacting dynamical systems subjected to a mean field coupling. We consider a large class of self consistent transfer operators and prove general statements about existence of invariant measures, speed of convergence to equilibrium, statistical stability and linear response. While most of the results presented in the paper are valid in a weak coupling regime, the existence results for the invariant measures we show also hold outside the weak coupling regime. We apply the general statements to examples of different nature: coupled continuous maps, coupled expanding maps, coupled systems with additive noise, systems made of different maps coupled by a mean field interaction and other examples of self consistent transfer operators not coming from coupled maps. We also consider the problem of finding the optimal coupling between maps in order to change the statistical properties of the system in a prescribed way.