“One among many”? Relational panopticism and negotiating non-monogamies

Abstract

Drawing on qualitative in-depth interviews with people in the USA who have formed consensually non-monogamous relationships, this article introduces the term relational panopticism and uses empirical data to demonstrate the theoretical concept. Three primary themes in the data illustrate the origin, expression, and enforcement of relational panopticism: (1) encounters with institutions; (2) encounters with personal networks; and (3) coping and resistance strategies. Focusing on the daily reproduction of compulsory monogamy and the ways in which people in non-monogamous relationships negotiate and resist that reproduction, this study reveals how marginalized romantic and sexual relationship configurations are received and negotiated in interaction with family, peer groups, and institutions.

The Discursive Construction of Polyamory: Legitimising an Alternative to Monogamy

“…First, our analysis shows an overall narrative that positions monogamy as a problematic and limited universe and polyamory as a relational practice offering a solution to the problems attributed to monogamous relationships. Hence, our participants overthrow the dominant perspective that holds monogamy's optimality by offering an alternative discourse that inverts cultural hierarchies more than working towards their abolition (Willis, 2019). This result is consistent with studies showing that those engaged in CNM experience significant increases in sexual satisfaction (Conley et al, 2018) and higher relationship intimacy levels than monogamous people (Morrison et al, 2013).…”

“…The need to set boundaries can be better understood in relation to the liminal character of polyamory (Domínguez et al, 2017). The definition of an order allows integrating polyamory into one's daily life, reducing the unfinished destructive potential attributed to polyamorous relationships (Willis, 2019). The relevance of normative and definitional aspects and the self-help role attributed to the community can also be explained by referring to the relative novelty of polyamory in the Italian context (Gusmano, 2018).…”

Enacted and anticipated stigma related to consensual nonmonogamy among LGBTQ+ adults.

“…Moreover, certain LGBTQ+ subgroups may be at higher risk for experiences of enacted CNM-related stigma (e.g., first-generation LGBTQ+ Americans). Given the pervasiveness of stigmatized attitudes toward consensual nonmonogamy (Cohen & Wilson, 2017; Conley et al, 2013; Moors et al, 2013; Scoats, 2019; Stephens, 2019; Willis, 2019; Witherspoon, 2016), many LGBTQ+ people may be reluctant to discuss their experiences stemming from their CNM relationships and/or identities. Their reluctance to disclose such experiences may be even greater when the experiences are negative and potentially reinforcing of stigmatized beliefs about consensual nonmonogamy.…”

“…However, this measure does not capture the experiences of enacted or anticipated stigma among those identifying as or practicing nonmonogamy (Thompson et al, 2020). Additionally, previous studies have also used qualitative methods to explore CNM-related stigma (Willis, 2019). While qualitative approaches often provide detailed narrative data, they do not provide us with a way to systematically measure and report on various forms of CNM-related stigma.…”

Silencing the single woman: Negotiating the ‘failed’ feminine subject in contemporary UK society

“…Yet by constructing non-monogamy through a negative framing as not ‘a bad thing’, she still positions it as liminal and monogamy as normative. Abby Willis has termed this a ‘relational panopticon’, where regulatory norms within intimate life are still relationally reproduced through the very strategies which seek to resist them (Willis, 2018: 508). It is her failure to conform to the coupled norm which offers Anna space to escape from the shame of deviant female promiscuity and what she sees as the ‘claustrophobic’ strictures of a monogamous relationship.…”