On the benefits of valuing being friends for nonmarital romantic partners

Abstract

Artículo de publicación ISIRomantic relationships are, at their core, friendships. As such, it may be the case that valuing that aspect of the relationship fortifies the romantic relationship against negative outcomes and serves as a buffer against dissolution. We explored the role of valuing friendship within romantic relationships in two two-wave studies examining whether investing in the friendship aspect of the relationship (Study 1; N ¼ 190) and placing importance on affiliative need fulfillment (Study 2; N ¼ 184) were associated with positive concurrent outcomes and positive outcomes over time. Results revealed that valuing the friendship aspect of a romance is a strong positive predictor of concurrent romantic relationship qualities (i.e., love, sexual gratification, and romantic commitment), is associated with increases in these qualities over time and is negatively associated with romantic dissolution. Furthermore, evidence suggests that these benefits come from valuing friendship specifically, rather than any other aspect of the relationship (e.g., the sexual aspect)

Committed to us

“…Just as it may be difficult for romantic feelings to completely disappear following breakup, it is possible that friendship feelings that existed during the romantic relationship (Vanderdrift et al, 2013) persist in the redefined relationship (Schneider & Kenny, 2000). Former partners remaining close might hamper recovery and prolong emotional distress from the breakup.…”

“…Given that terminated romantic relationships are often redefined as friendships (Schneider & Kenny, 2000), the dichotomous distinction of being together versus broken up masks variations inherent in post-dissolution relationships. Former romantic partners might not want to end the friendship that they developed during the romantic relationship, as friendships are an important component of romantic relationships (Vanderdrift, Wilson, & Agnew, 2013). Thus, we propose that post-dissolution romantic relationships can be conceptualized in varying degrees of closeness.…”

The Diverging Effects of Need Fulfillment Obtained from Within and Outside of a Romantic Relationship

“…The most salient concrete outcome is the experience of pleasure or pain (Rusbult & Van Lange, 2003). When people feel that their needs are met, they experience enhanced satisfaction with their relationships (Drigotas & Rusbult, 1992), positive emotions (Le & Agnew, 2001), greater satisfaction after a disagreement (Patrick et al, 2007), greater commitment to the relationship (Drigotas & Rusbult, 1992), greater increases in love over time (VanderDrift, Wilson, & Agnew, 2012), and more secure attachment within the relationship (La Guardia, Ryan, Couchman, & Deci, 2000).…”

Predicting Responses to Bids for Sexual and Romantic Escalation in Cross-Sex Friendships

“…Friendships imply a close emotional bond, admiration, and respect between partners. Research suggests friendship forms the basis for romantic relationships (Fehr, 1996;Fehr & Russell, 1991) and romantic couples who value their friendship tend to be more satisfied in their romance (VanderDrift, Wilson, & Agnew, 2012). Cross-sex friends' experience with the quality of their friendship serves as a reflection of each partners' preference for the behaviors they desire in relationship partners.…”