Mononormativity, Polypride, and the “Mono–Poly Wars”

From romantic jealousy to sympathetic joy: Monogamy, polyamory, and beyond

“…11 Human beings are endowed with wildly diverse biological, psychological, and spiritual dispositions that may predispose them toward different relationship styles: celibacy, monogamy, serial monogamy, open marriage, swinging, and polyamory, among other possibilities. In other words, many equally valid psychospiritual trajectories may call individuals to engage in one or another relationship style either for life or at specific junctures in their paths (see Ferrer, 2018aFerrer, , 2018b. Whereas the psychospiritual foundation for this diversity of mating responses cannot be empirically established, recent discoveries in neuroscience support the idea of a genetic base.…”

“…For a variety of evolutionary and historical reasons, polyamory has received "bad press" in mainstream Western culture and spiritual circlesbeing automatically linked, for example, with promiscuity, irresponsibility, inability to commit, and even narcissistic hedonism (see Ferrer, 2018a). Given the current crisis of monogamy in contemporary culture, however, it may be valuable to explore seriously the social potential of responsible forms of nonmonogamy.…”

“…Instead of this arguably monocentric standard (clearly a residue of the traditional vow of lifelong monogamy), I suggest that more appropriate criteria are the quality of relationship (cf. Deri, 2015;Rowan, 1995) as well as its healing and transformative power (Ferrer, 2018a). 11.…”

“…11. Despite the widespread variety of arguments for the superiority or advantageousness of monogamy (e.g., Barash & Lipton, 2009;Fisher, 2004;Jenkins, 2015;Masters, 2007) or polyamory (e.g., Barker & Langdridge, 2010b;Bergstrand & Sinski, 2010;Petrella, 2007), the available empirical evidence supports a more egalitarian and pluralistic scenario (see Ferrer, 2018a). In a comparative study of 284 selfidentified monogamous and polyamorous men and women, for example, Morrison, Beaulieu, Brockman, and Beaglaoich (2013) found no significant group differences in scores indicative of relational quality (i.e., passion, trust, and attachment)-although poly men and women showed greater levels of intimacy as measured by the Intimacy Attitude Scale-Revised (IAS-R; Amidon, Kumar, & Treadwell, 1983).…”

“…13. For a discussion of both the ongoing "mono/ poly wars" and different pathways to overcome the monogamy/polyamory binary, see Ferrer (2018aFerrer ( , 2018b. 14.…”