Mistakenly seeking solitude.

Abstract

Connecting with others increases happiness, but strangers in close proximity routinely ignore each other. Why? Two reasons seem likely: Either solitude is a more positive experience than interacting with strangers, or people misunderstand the consequences of distant social connections. To examine the experience of connecting to strangers, we instructed commuters on trains and buses to connect with a stranger near them, to remain disconnected, or to commute as normal (Experiments 1a and 2a). In both contexts, participants reported a more positive (and no less productive) experience when they connected than when they did not. Separate participants in each context, however, expected precisely the opposite outcome, predicting a more positive experience in solitude (Experiments 1b and 2b). This mistaken preference for solitude stems partly from underestimating others' interest in connecting (Experiments 3a and 3b), which in turn keeps people from learning the actual consequences of social interaction (Experiments 4a and 4b). The pleasure of connection seems contagious: In a laboratory waiting room, participants who were talked to had equally positive experiences as those instructed to talk (Experiment 5). Human beings are social animals. Those who misunderstand the consequences of social interactions may not, in at least some contexts, be social enough for their own well-being.

Fun is more fun when others are involved

“…Clark and Watson (1988), for example, found that social interactions were consistently related to positive affect but not to negative affect. Other studies have shown that people see their social experiences as having greater emotional impact than their solitary experiences (Jaremka, Gabriel, & Carvallo, 2011), are more likely to laugh when others are around (Provine & Fischer, 1989), and find their daily commutes more pleasant if they engage in casual conversation with strangers than if they travel without connecting with others (Epley & Schroeder, 2014). In the same conceptual vein, Caprariello and Reis (2013) found that experiential purchases are associated with higher levels of recollected happiness than material purchases in large part because the former are more likely to involve other persons.…”

Compassionate goals and affect in social situations

“…People are social animals (e.g., Epley & Schroeder, 2014; Tomasello, 2014). They form connections easily and are reluctant to sever existing social ties (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).…”

The commonness fallacy: Commonly chosen options have less choice appeal than people think.

“…Failing to understand these contextual or situational factors can stymie forecasters. Epley and Schroeder (2014) illustrate this point with a social choice: Even when people are open to connecting with a stranger, they frequently abstain out of a misguided assumption that such overtures are unwanted, thereby leaving unquestioned that solitude is the universal preference. States of pluralistic ignorance about the true pref-erences of others-those that would guide their private choices-result (Prentice & Miller, 1993).…”