Midlife Lesbian Parenting

Abstract

This study explores the experience of nine midlife lesbian mothers parenting young children. The participants live in the greater Bay Area of San Francisco.The participants reported positive feelings about their parenting experience. They felt confident and secure in midlife, and this enhanced their parenting. Their own maturation issues, whether they were coming out or other developmental concerns, seem successfully traversed, leaving them more inner resources for mothering.Participants experienced acceptance from the larger culture, as well as discrimination and ignorance. Participants experienced little conflict regarding nurturing with their partner and little conflict with respect to their identities as mothers. [Article copies available for a feefiom The Haworth Document Delivery Service: 1-800-342-9678. E-mail address: cgetitlfo@liawort}ipressitic. coin> Website: clittp:llwwwliaworthpressitic.com>]

Negotiating Lesbian Family Identity via Symbols and Rituals

“…Some lesbian mothers report that their families of origin provide high levels of social support (Donaldson, 2000;Lewin & Lyons, 1982) or, at least, lessstressful interactions than what such mothers encounter with day care providers or homophobic persons (Lott-Whitehead & Tully, 1993). Some children have regular contact with relatives of the biological and the nonbiological mother (Patterson, Hurt & Mason, 1998), whereas others are isolated (Gartrell et al, 2000;Hequembourg, 2004).…”

“…Family-of-origin reactions range from immediate elation to coming to terms to outright rejection (Sullivan, 2004b). Some lesbian mothers' social networks affirm their choice to become parents (Donaldson, 2000;Dunne, 2000;Lewin & Lyons, 1982), whereas other social network members disconfirm this choice (Gartrell et al, 1999;Levy, 1989;Speziale & Gopalakrishna, 2004). Some lesbian mothers find affirmation for their family identities via chosen families (see Weston, 1991) in which family ties extend beyond blood or legal relations to include friends and others (Dunne, 2000).…”

“…Lesbian mothers report experiencing acceptance and discrimination in their interactions with community institutions, such as schools, doctors, or hospitals, over which they feel little control (Lott-Whitehead & Tully, 1993). Reported negative interactions include being asked insensitive and ignorant questions about their families that make them feel concerned for their children (Donaldson, 2000), homophobia from health care providers during pregnancy (Gartrell et al, 1999), difficulties finding child care because of their sexual orientation (Gartrell et al, 1999), and challenges accessing emergency care for their children (Chabot & Ames, 2004). Many lesbian mothers fear that community members and community institutions will stigmatize their children for being a part of lesbian families (Peplau & Beals, 2004;Speziale & Gopalakrishna, 2004;van Dam, 2004).…”

Accounting for Lesbian-Headed Families: Lesbian Mothers' Responses to Discursive Challenges

“…Because many lesbian mothers feel rejected by their families of origin, they often turn to chosen kin or social networks with some reporting high levels of social support from these networks (Donaldson, 2000;Rothblum, 2010). Yet research continues to find that, for others, social networks are sources of disconfirmation (DeMino, Appleby, & Fisk, 2007).…”

Coming Out with Our Children: Turning Points Facilitating Lesbian Parent Discourse with Their Children About Family Identity

“…The stigmatization of lesbian and gay parented families has resulted in societal pressure=challenges to family identity that traditional families do not face (Patterson, 2000). Further, there is a lack of institutional recognition, such as marriage and adoption rights, that creates an expectation of lesbian-parented families to redefine and account for their family in their interactions with outsiders (Dalton & Bielby, 2000;Donaldson, 2000). Social messages of homosexuality as unacceptable may cause families to experience negative identity formation, and as a consequence, these families may feel the need to remain closeted (Murray & McClintock, 2005).…”