Meta-accuracy and relationship quality: Weighing the costs and benefits of knowing what people really think about you.

Abstract

People use metaperceptions, or their beliefs about how other people perceive them, to initiate and maintain social bonds. Are accurate metaperceptions associated with higher quality relationships? In four studies, the current research answers this question but considers the possibility that the self might not experience the same relational benefits of accurate metaperceptions, or meta-accuracy, as the people who form judgments about the self. For example, people tend to like individuals who have accurate self-perceptions, yet individuals tend to enjoy their own relationships more with people they believe see them in desirable ways. To test whether meta-accuracy is linked to relationship quality and whether this link differs for the self and others, meta-accuracy for personality traits as well as metaperceiver- and judge-reported relationship quality were assessed among new acquaintances (N = 184), peers (N = 228), friends (N = 273), and romantic partners (N = 401). Results suggested that judges enjoyed relationships more with metaperceivers who knew the impression they made, regardless of whether judges’ impressions were desirable (i.e., positive or self-verifying). Initial meta-accuracy also predicted greater relationship quality over time, suggesting that accurate metaperceptions have positive effects on relationships. In contrast, rather than enjoying relationships more when they were accurate, metaperceivers enjoyed relationships more when they believed judges perceived them in positive or self-verifying ways. Thus, meta-accuracy seems to be a virtue in the eyes of judges, but metaperceivers do not seem to reap the same benefits of knowing what others really think. Implications for improving meta-accuracy are discussed.

Blissfully Blind or Painfully Aware? Exploring the Beliefs People With Interpersonal Problems Have About Their Reputation

“…Indeed, poor awareness might partially explain why people with interpersonal problems behave in maladaptive ways, but the content of their metaperceptions might also partially explain their maladaptive patterns of behavior. The degree to which people expect to be seen in desirable ways, or the extent to which they feel valued, as well as the degree to which people think others see them as they see themselves, or the extent to which they feel understood, are important components of relationship quality and well‐being (Campbell, Lackenbauer, & Muise, ; Carlson, , ; Murray, Holmes, MacDonald, & Ellsworth, ). People with interpersonal problems might feel less valued or understood, and this negative subjective reality might exacerbate and maintain their problems.…”

“…The core assumption of this hypothesis is that it is adaptive to know what others think about the self and that perceiving social reality in an accurate light is a sign of psychological adjustment (Colvin & Block, ). Indeed, people with more awareness tend to be liked more by acquaintances, friends, and partners (Carlson, ), suggesting that awareness has an adaptive function. There is also some evidence that poor meta‐accuracy is maladaptive.…”

“…First, people with problems have an interpersonal style marked by extreme inhibitions and excesses, and as such, they are unique from the typical person and likely make distinctive impressions. For these individuals to know how others see them, they must have a keen understanding of how they differ from the typical person, a form of awareness called distinctive meta‐accuracy (Carlson , ). The Blissfully Blind Hypothesis predicts that people with problems have less distinctive meta‐accuracy and fail to appreciate how others see them as unique from the typical person.…”

“…There is some evidence that awareness for the typical person is linked to negative self‐reported outcomes, suggesting that accurate metaperceptions might come at a cost for the metaperceiver. For example, people with higher distinctive meta‐accuracy for a new acquaintance reported less liking for that acquaintance (Carlson, ), suggesting that Meg's insight into what makes her distinctive in Jon's eyes can be aversive. Likewise, people who reported higher self‐esteem and fewer personality disorder symptoms had less meta‐insight for peers (Mosch & Borkenau, ), suggesting that if Meg has lower self‐esteem or more personality disorder symptoms, she likely has more meta‐insight.…”

“…Independent of accuracy, people's subjective sense of social reality can play a critical role in how they relate to other people. For example, people who expect to be seen in positive ways by another person tend to like that person more (Carlson, ), suggesting that the valence of metaperceptions has interpersonal consequences. Thus, we explore whether positive or negative metaperceptions are linked to interpersonal problems.…”