Men’s experiences of help‐seeking for female‐perpetrated intimate partner violence: A qualitative exploration

Abstract

The subject of female-perpetrated intimate partner violence (IPV) against men has been one of controversy, with well-rehearsed arguments surrounding both the nature and existence of female-perpetrated abuse against men. The aims of this study were to explore men's help-seeking experiences and/or their perceptions of utilising support services/ support networks following IPV victimisation. Consequently, this study explored the help-seeking experiences of 26, largely British, men who self-identified as having experienced female-perpetrated IPV. As the focus was on subjective experiences, a qualitative design was employed. Participation was invited from men who had sought help for their IPV victimisation from a range of sources and those who had not sought help at all. Semi-structured interviews explored the men's experiences of seeking help, and barriers to seeking help, following IPV. The data were analysed using reflexive thematic analysis. Some of the participants who took part in this study had received formal support for their experiences of IPV (i.e. counselling, calling IPV helplines and support services, contact with social workers or the police) and informal support (e.g. speaking to work colleagues, family and friends). Five participants had never spoken to anybody about their experiences prior to taking part in the interview. A range of barriers prevented the men from seeking help. First and foremost, the importance of maintaining a sense of masculinity consistently underpinned the participants' narratives. The men's fear of being judged negatively by others was often not unfounded. Negative help-seeking experiences included being treated with suspicion and contempt. Positive help-seeking experiences facilitated the men in recognising their relationship as abusive, which for some of the men was influential in their decision to leave or seek help. The lack of recognition and understanding of male IPV within society was of concern to most of the men. Some expressed a desire to use their own experiences in order to help other men in abusive relationships. These results have important implications for the development of appropriate support for male victims, including the need for practitioners to be nonjudgemental whilst assisting men in recognising their relationship as abusive.

“No one would ever believe me”: An exploration of the impact of intimate partner violence victimization on men.

“…The message constructed for men and their gender roles are to be emotionally self-reliant, stoic, and powerful, which likely means avoiding behavior that makes them seem to not live up to these expectations. This can lead to men avoiding the problem (Tsui, 2014) and feeling shame and embarrassment (Hogan, 2016). There is a need to try and change this dominant narrative about gender roles in order to start to address men’s barriers to help-seeking.…”

“…As described in Bates (in press), the sample captured is overall Western; sex differences in IPV are known to vary across culture with those cultures that have higher gender empowerment also seeing higher rates of women’s violence (Archer, 2006). Furthermore, the method utilized was an attempt to capture a broader range of experience than those previously that have utilized a purely help-seeking sample (Hines et al, 2007) or those self-identifying as IPV victims (Hogan, 2016), but the sample is still likely to be self-selecting to some extent. Finally, there is data missing about validity criteria and coder agreement for this study, due to the single author paper and lack of any further coders within the analysis.…”

“…Male victims face personal and social obstacles when it comes to IPV help-seeking, they often “mask” and avoid the problem (Tsui, 2014), and these public perceptions and stereotypes may go some way to explaining why men struggle to identify as victims of IPV, which in turn influences their help-seeking behavior (Machado, Hines, & Matos, 2016). The underpinning narratives of masculinity have been seen in male victims’ accounts along with the shame and embarrassment at not meeting their gender role expectations (Hogan, 2016).…”

“…When we consider men’s reluctance to seek help or report their abuse, we are likely also facing barriers working with them in a research context. Our understanding of men’s victimization so far has come from help-seeking samples (Hines et al, 2007), those self-identifying as victims of IPV (Hogan, 2016), or on interview-based methods (Nybergh, Enander, & Krantz, 2016). Although informative, they are self-selecting; men’s reluctance to identify as victims (Machado et al, 2016) and their reluctance to speak out in many contexts (Addis & Mahalik, 2003) means these studies will not be capturing the full breadth of men’s experiences.…”

Barriers to and facilitators of help-seeking behavior among Israeli men who experience intimate partner violence: A qualitative study.

“…Semistructured telephone interviews allow for greater anonymity and are therefore suitable for use with participants who are vulnerable to exposure regarding sensitive issues (Sipes et al, 2019). Furthermore, allowing participants (and especially, male IPV victims) to choose the type of interview they participate in can enhance their sense of safety and control (Hogan et al, 2021). The interviews lasted between 1 and 3 hr and covered diverse subjects regarding men's IPV victimization.…”