“…The pressing research output agenda of universities, and the disconnected workload model I work under, lacking real-time estimations in managing my work (Lindegaard Moensted et al, 2012 ), could threaten the integrity of my work that starts from a point and force of love, depicted by the alternative rainbow love-heart. By no means is this a new ‘non-rosy’ phenomenon, illustrated by the thorny rose in the centre of the love-heart, but it is felt at different times and different junctures in a scholar’s academic journey and career (Coll et al, 2019 ; Moosa, 2018 ). Besides loving the research and advocacy work I pursue in the space of gender studies, I love my supportive partner, and being a parent to my little four-year old who is becoming their own strong little person.…”