Maternal Ambivalence in Session: Helping Mothers Face Mixed Feelings Toward Their Children with Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy

Maternal Ambivalence Questionnaire (MAQ): Development and preliminary validation.

“…Arguably, by engaging with diverse and often contradictory feelings experienced in motherhood, women can achieve a more complex and flexible understanding of themselves and their child, resulting in more thoughtful and creative parenting. The positive potential of maternal ambivalence has also been noted by other scholars who suggest that working through the conflicting motherhood feelings can promote maternal resilience (Baraitser & Noack, 2007) and well-being (Pollack, 2021). It can also help women to feel more competent mothers and reduce the pressure to live up to idealized maternal images (De Marneffe, 2019;Lowy, 2021;Pollack, 2021).…”

“…In addition, we performed a wider literature search on emotional mothering experiences and existing measures. Specifically, we examined regretting motherhood (Donath, 2017), maternal representations (Main et al, 1985;Stern, 1995;Zeanah & Benoit, 1995), and psychotherapy literature (Baradon, 2005;De Marneffe, 2019;Pollack, 2021;Raphael-Leff, 2018/2003. Based on this review, five main features of maternal ambivalence experiences were identified, and the initial set of items reflecting those features was generated.…”

“…The most common defenses include suppression of any negative feelings about motherhood or the child, self-criticism ("the problem is I'm a bad mother") that provokes feelings of guilt and helplessness, and blaming of the child ("the problem is she is a bad child") that is associated with self-pity and feeling drained (Almond, 2011;Parker, 1995Parker, /2005. Excessive reliance on such defenses can lead to psychological problems, such as anxiety and depression, and impaired mother-child and interpersonal relationships (Lowy, 2021;Parker, 1995Parker, /2005Pollack, 2021;Raphael-Leff, 2010). Current theoretical understanding therefore suggests that the use of psychological defenses in response to ambivalent feelings prevents mothers from fully acknowledging and working through their ambivalence, which, in turn, can produce psychological difficulties.…”

The holding space: An experiential–dynamic group therapy for mothers with postpartum anxiety and depression.

“…So it was just, he's easy, easier to just be pleasant all the time and not bother anybody. A primary impetus to develop this group was their belief that many mothers suffer from symptoms such as anxiety and depression due to defense mechanisms that they use to suppress feelings of maternal ambivalence, often due to internalized personal, familial, and societal messages about mothering (Pollack, 2021). They believed that mothers could use a group therapy format to validate these feelings with each other and have less reliance on defense mechanisms to keep such uncomfortable feelings suppressed.…”

“…Schlager’s (2016) case study of ISTDP with mothers with PPD demonstrated how the model can be used to help mothers access underlying mixed feelings in order to decrease the use of defenses which lead to depression. Although not focused on the postpartum period, Pollack (2021) also described how ISTDP techniques can help mothers face, rather than suppress, their feelings of maternal ambivalence in order to decrease their use of harmful defenses such as self-criticism and acting out, which can lead to more compassionate feelings toward themselves and their children.…”