“…At the same time, marriage itself has been in sharp decline. As the conversation at the beginning of this article suggests, it remains a highly desirable goal for men and women, and for their families, but marriage has become an elusive ideal, increasingly restricted to the middle classes (Pauli and van Dijk 2016). Approaching marriage in terms of recognition and the dikgang that accompanies it, I suggest that this elusiveness remains linked to ambiguity.…”