Making Room for Births That Are Not Good: Lessons from Cesarean Shame Shame

Abstract

This article explores post-cesarean shame to understand how normative birthing ideals are tied to neoliberal and popular feminist expectations of what it means to be a “good” mother. Drawing on narratives shared on motherhood blogs, we note that feelings of shame associated with cesareans are tied to social pressures for unmedicated, vaginal birth. Rather than critique nonmedical or “natural” birth, this article explores the affective implications of approaching birth as a curated and controllable process. We conclude with suggestions for practitioners, moms, and their supporters on how to make room for births that are not good.

Artificial placentas, pregnancy loss and loss-sensitive care

“…27 It is the loss of a full-term pregnancy, particularly for the individual who was undertaking gestation, that can exacerbate feelings of grief. 27 Similar experiences have been reported for individuals who have undergone unplanned caesarean deliveries, 28 with disappointment arising from not being able to give birth naturally and resulting in individuals feeling that their bodies had failed them. 28 Individuals have often been encouraged to 'downplay' these feelings of loss and disappointment and focus on the positivity of having a healthy infant.…”

“…27 Similar experiences have been reported for individuals who have undergone unplanned caesarean deliveries, 28 with disappointment arising from not being able to give birth naturally and resulting in individuals feeling that their bodies had failed them. 28 Individuals have often been encouraged to 'downplay' these feelings of loss and disappointment and focus on the positivity of having a healthy infant. 28 In being torn between the happiness of the child being born and the lost opportunity of a 'normal birth', formerly pregnant people can find it difficult to balance feelings of both joy and grief, 27 and as result they can experience loss 'clouded with contradictions'.…”

“…28 Individuals have often been encouraged to 'downplay' these feelings of loss and disappointment and focus on the positivity of having a healthy infant. 28 In being torn between the happiness of the child being born and the lost opportunity of a 'normal birth', formerly pregnant people can find it difficult to balance feelings of both joy and grief, 27 and as result they can experience loss 'clouded with contradictions'. 28 In creating inadequate space to acknowledge their losses, individuals' experiences are further exacerbated by feelings of shame.…”

“…28 In being torn between the happiness of the child being born and the lost opportunity of a 'normal birth', formerly pregnant people can find it difficult to balance feelings of both joy and grief, 27 and as result they can experience loss 'clouded with contradictions'. 28 In creating inadequate space to acknowledge their losses, individuals' experiences are further exacerbated by feelings of shame. Not only does an individual feel shame for 'failing' to take a pregnancy to term they then undergo a double dosing of shame as they worry that their sadness about the premature ending of x Although many people experience changes in mood following any ending to a pregnancy, including those that come to an end in a planned and desired way (eg, through vaginal birth or caesarean section at full term)-our focus here is specifically on the emotional and physical experiences of pregnancy loss.…”

“…8 In reporting on experiences of 'caesarean shame', Keglowitsch and Meagher report that individuals felt they had 'failed in their first task as a mother'. 28 With an incorrect conceptualisation of women becoming mothers as soon as they become pregnant 13 as well as 'natural birth' often considered the ideal, 30 it is unsurprising that individuals feel a sense of failure when the pregnancy is not taken to term and birth plans are interrupted. In Moraga's autobiographical account of premature birth, we can see how experiences of loss become connected to 'guilt' towards the resulting child:…”