Look but don't touch?: Self-regulation determines whether noticing attractive alternatives increases infidelity.

Abstract

People regularly encounter tempting alternatives to their relationship partners, and it has been argued that paying attention to desirable alternatives increases the risk of infidelity. However, whether the temptation of noticing attractive alternatives leads to actual infidelity should depend on the ability to resist such temptation. More specifically, taking heed of attractive others should increase the likelihood of infidelity only when people lack self-regulatory ability. One experiment and one longitudinal study of newlyweds both demonstrated that the implications of attending to attractive alternatives for infidelity depended on participants' self-regulatory ability to resist such temptations. Specifically, the tendency to notice attractive alternatives was associated with greater infidelity among those with poorer self-regulatory ability, but not among those with greater self-regulatory ability. These results further understanding about how people can maintain and protect their relationships in the face of temptation.

Moral disciplining: the cognitive and evolutionary foundations of puritanical morality

“…Low conscientiousness -a construct related to self-control (Duckworth & Seligman, 2017) -also predicts greater likelihood of sexual cheating in men and women across 52 countries of 10 world regions (Schmitt, 2004; see also Pronk et al, 2011). And studies suggest that intensity of sexual desire, and tendencies to notice attractive alternative partners, predict greater infidelity among people with low, but not high dispositional self-control (Brady et al, 2020;McIntyre et al, 2015) 4 .…”

The Relationship Problem Solving (RePS) Model: How Partners Influence One Another to Resolve Relationship Problems

“…Numerous dispositional and situational factors may determine targets' existing ability to resolve their problems and thus the cost-to-benefit ratio of both oppositional and cooperative behaviors. First, dispositional factors, such as stable differences in targets' attention (e.g., Sweller, 1988), working memory (Baker, Kane, & Russell, 2019), creativity and task flexibility (Sternberg & Lubart, 1991), verbal processing (Gilhooly & Fioratou, 2009), reasoning (see DeLoache, Miller, & Pierroutsakos, 1998), and inhibitory control (Brady, Baker, & Miller, 2019;Finkel et al, 2012), predict greater problem-solving ability and thus may determine the need for or benefits of various partner-regulation behaviors. Although the majority of this research has examined the implications of these abilities for problem solving as individuals, recent research (e.g., Baker et al, 2019;Finkel et al, 2012) has demonstrated that these abilities also predict greater relationship problem solving.…”

The changing tides of attractive alternatives in romantic relationships: Recent societal changes compel new directions for future research

“…For instance, highly committed partners tend to display fewer signs of interest when interacting with an attractive alternative (Karremans & Verwigmerem, 2008). These mechanisms appear to be effective; people are less likely to engage in infidelity to the extent that they employ these mechanisms (Brady et al, 2020;McNulty et al, 2018).…”

“…Recent increases in the quantity of attractive alternatives may also affect engagement in derogation mechanisms. Specifically, derogating alternatives is a motivated process that requires cognitive resources to successfully employ (Brady et al, 2020;Lydon & Karremans, 2015;Ritter et al, 2010). Given the drastic increase in the quantity of alternatives in recent years, and given that derogating alternatives is more challenging when cognitive resources are taxed (Baumeister & Vohs, 2004), it is possible that previously established derogation mechanisms may become exhausted due to the high quantity of available alternatives and thus may be less effective at protecting against alternatives.…”