Like a Virgin…Again?: Secondary Virginity as an Ongoing Gendered Social Construction

Abstract

Secondary virginity-a sexually-initiated person's deliberate decision to refrain from intimate encounters for a set period of time and to refer to that decision as a kind of virginity (rather than ''mere'' abstinence)-has largely eluded sociological scrutiny, despite its increasing popularity as a concept and practice among American youth. This study explores beliefs and experiences regarding secondary virginity, drawing on qualitative interviews with 61 socially diverse women and men, of whom four were avowed secondary virgins, five likened their experiences to a second virginity/virginity loss, and 16 had phenomenologically similar experiences which they did not frame in terms of virginity. Respondents who endorsed the concept of secondary virginity were disproportionately White conservative Christian women born after 1972. Secondary virginity reveals the social construction of gendered sexuality and the heterosexual imaginary as it reinforces privilege along gender, racial, religious, and sexual dimensions.

Saving Sex for Marriage: An Analysis of Lay Attitudes Towards Virginity and its Perceived Benefit for Marriage

“…First, the wall posts and comments suggest that "the absence of a hymen" and "the shedding of blood" signified virginity loss for women while there is no such physical marker for men. This description of virginity loss is consistent with the literature (Abboud et al, 2015;Carpenter, 2011) and are rooted in the hegemonic masculinities that reinforces men's dominance over women and promotes sexual double standards, where virginity is perceived as more valuable -and more identifiable -for females than males (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). Connell's (1987Connell's ( , 1995 theory of masculinities shed light on this gendered interpretation of virginity.…”

“…These rhetoric interpretations of saving sex for marriage are rooted in hegemonic masculinities further perpetuated through local and national gender and cultural norms, religious beliefs, media, peer, family, and societal expectations (Blinn-Pike et al, 2004;Carpenter, 2011;Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). This socially idealized form of masculinity shape a sense of what is "acceptable" and "unacceptable" gendered behaviour that appears natural, ordinary, and inevitable (Connell, 1995;Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005;Hanke, 1990;Messerschmidt, 2019;Speer, 2001).…”

Sexuality (and Lack Thereof) in Adolescence and Early Adulthood: A Review of the Literature

“…This finding was also replicated in a quantitative study presenting the same virginity scripts to a different emerging adult sample [ 92 ]. As a result of viewing virginity as a stigma, males are more likely to perceive it as a source of embarrassment [ 91 ], and to lie about their virgin status [ 93 ]. Furthermore, a study conducted among virgin adolescents found a higher proportion of males reporting being a virgin as a lack of sexual opportunities when compared to females [ 94 ].…”

Religiosity and Adolescent Females’ Characterizations of Healthy Dating Dynamics

“…Participants with High religiosity may not have spoken at all about this because they either believe or were socialized to regard pre-marital sex as inappropriate and/or unacceptable. In addition, though not mentioned in our interviews, abstinence education programs often use "virginity pledges" to encourage adolescents in making oral or written promises to refrain from sexual activity until marriage (Rosenbaum, 2009;Carpenter, 2011). Secondary virginity pledges assist sexually active teenagers with making decisions to refrain from sexual activity (Rosenbaum, 2009;Carpenter, 2011).…”

“…In addition, though not mentioned in our interviews, abstinence education programs often use "virginity pledges" to encourage adolescents in making oral or written promises to refrain from sexual activity until marriage (Rosenbaum, 2009;Carpenter, 2011). Secondary virginity pledges assist sexually active teenagers with making decisions to refrain from sexual activity (Rosenbaum, 2009;Carpenter, 2011). It is possible that teens utilize defense mechanisms and adaptive strategies in an effort to preserve religious values when navigating the complex arena of sexual relationships during adolescence (Lefkowitz, Gillen, Shearer, & Boone, 2004).…”