Knowing and not knowing: A frequent human arrangement

Abstract

The paradigmatic system of societal abuse occurs in totalitarian state systems. The relational systems of subjugation that maintain such states of terror must, of necessity, destroy any authentic civic space in which individuals can flourish. Similar dynamics characterize child abuse within families. Survival requires the use of varied strategies, the most extreme of which are dissociative in nature, and that result in marked distortions of developmental trajectories across all psychological domains. Such dynamics are mirrored in dissociative systems that, in the absence of intervention, perpetuate the trauma of non-recognition by subjugation and self-objectification, or by omnipotent denial of others' subjectivity. All abusive systems are facilitated by bystanders, whose awareness of what is disavowed is always partial, resulting in a state of knowing and not-knowing. As dynamics shift, bystanders may behave like victims-passive, helpless, frightened and frozen, or like perpetrators-taking vicarious and voyeuristic pleasure in abuse or actively aiding and abetting the abusers.

“Our family sleeps deeply”: The Presence of Others During Intrafamilial Child Sexual Abuse as Conveyed By Girls From Diverse Communities in Israel

“…Sometimes the others saw the abusive acts, and sometimes only a blanket hid them, yet, the girls claimed that the others did not know because they were asleep or did not notice. These results support Solinski’s (2017) writings on the difficulties of others to intervene when in a state of consciousness that veers between knowing and not knowing. The current findings emphasized that family members present during IFCSA often have a significant relationship with the perpetrator.…”

“…Literature on others present during CSA often relies on the concept of the “bystander” (Klebanov et al, 2022). The bystander phenomenon originated in response to the brutal murder of Kitty Genovese in New York in 1964 and again drew attention in 1993, in the murder of 2-year-old James Bulger by two 10-year-old children in Kirkby, England (Cismaru et al, 2010; Solinski, 2017). In both cases, onlookers failed to intervene (Adhia et al, 2017; Cismaru, 2013).…”

What Can We Learn About the Others Present During Incidents of Child Abuse?: Key Lessons and Future Directions Based on a Scoping Review

“…Many bystanders doubt their understanding of the occurrence of abuse (Kerr & Stirling, 2012). This may happen because people do not know enough about the signs of abuse or understand what child abuse is (Solinski, 2017). Another significant factor is the set of beliefs that the bystanders hold.…”

“…Most of the literature on others' presence during CA refers to the concept of “bystanders.” Following the brutal murder of Kitty Genovese in New York in 1964, Darley and Latané's (1970) influential study originated what they characterized as the “bystander effect,” which specified factors that might persuade a bystander to decide to intervene (Cismaru, 2013; Kerr & Stirling, 2012). It later gained further interest after the murder of two-year-old James Bulger in 1993 by two ten-year-olds in England (Cismaru et al, 2010; Solinski, 2017). In both cases, bystanders failed to intervene and stop the abuse (Adhia et al, 2017; Cismaru, 2013).…”

‘They would rather not have known and me kept my mouth shut’: The role of neutralisation in responding to the disclosure of childhood sexual abuse

“…The child is torn between the natural desire to approach a parent for comfort and the equally natural imperative to flee from danger (Liotti, 2017). Solinski (2017) argues that there can be a state of ‘knowing and not knowing’ in families that often leads to a collusion of denial. This creates a situation where a child feels that failure to respond to their disclosure demonstrates that the abuse is acceptable, but the disclosure is not.…”