It’s not my fault, it’s yours: shame, loss, and the ego ideal in work with adoptive couples

The Burden of the Ego‐Ideal and the Refusal of Development

“…This meaning rests on Freud's initial conception (1914), as elaborated by Chasseguet‐Smirgel (1985b), of an aspirational, temporally aware mental component that sees in the future a glow from the past. Contemporary usage continues to carry the same aspirational meaning (see, e.g., Cregeen, 2022, p. 244). This ego‐ideal is a beacon that beckons us onwards through life.…”