The authors' personal-relational equilibrium model suggests that people come to seek equilibrium in their dedication to personal and relational concerns in that these 2 important needs cannot always be gratified simultaneously. The authors proposed that the experience of personal-relational disequilibrium motivates attempts to restore equilibrium and that achieving equilibrium promotes life satisfaction. Four studies revealed good support for the model. In Study 1, a manipulation of anticipated future disequilibrium (vs. equilibrium) as a result of overdedication to either the personal or relational domain caused reduced motivation to address concerns in that domain and increased motivation toward the complementary domain. In Study 2, narratives describing disequilibrium experiences (vs. equilibrium experiences) exhibited increased motivation to restore equilibrium and reduced life satisfaction. In Study 3, diary reports of everyday disequilibrium were associated with increased same-day motivation to restore equilibrium, reduced same-day life satisfaction, and increased next-day dedication of effort to the complementary domain. In Study 4, experiences of disequilibrium predicted reduced well-being 6 months later. Collectively, these findings extend knowledge of how people regulate themselves toward equilibrium in pursuing 2 fundamental human concerns.Keywords: romantic relationships, needs, self-regulation, equilibrium, well-being What does it mean to lead a meaningful life-a life characterized by fulfillment and vitality? It is a psychological truism that humans pursue personal concerns and benefit from the gratification of such concerns-people seek to gratify needs that are unique to the self, such as achievement and basic physiological needs. It is also a psychological truism that humans pursue relational concerns and benefit from the gratification of such concerns-people seek to gratify needs that are uniquely social, such as belongingness and companionship. Thus, a meaningful life might be characterized as one in which all of one's personal and relational needs are simply, harmoniously, and simultaneously gratified. Unfortunately, a third truism is that often, pursuing concerns in one domain conflicts with the ability to gratify needs in the complementary domain. Time and energy are not limitless, such that Mary cannot dedicate 10 hr a day to enjoying quality time with John and dedicate 10 hr a day to writing the great American novel. In the following pages, we advance a model of personal-relational equilibrium, proposing that sustaining optimal equilibrium between personal and relational concerns is an important form of selfregulation. We present findings from four studies that tested basic tenets of our model.
Personal Concerns, Relational Concerns, and SubjectiveWell-BeingPeople pursue varied goals, as documented in diverse typologies of human motivation (e.g., Deci & Ryan, 2000;Maslow, 1968;H. A. Murray, 1938;Ryff, 1989). Among the multitude of goals that drive human behavior and enrich personal well-be...