“It’s a Little Bit Tricky”: Results from the POLYamorous Childbearing and Birth Experiences Study (POLYBABES)

Abstract

The number of polyamorous people in Canada is growing steadily, and many polyamorous people are of childbearing age and report living with children. Experiences of polyamorous families, particularly those related to pregnancy and childbirth, have thus far been underrepresented in the literature. The POLYamorous Childbearing and Birth Experiences Study (POLYBABES) sought to explore the pregnancy and birth experiences of polyamorous people. Having previously reported findings relating to experiences with the health system and healthcare providers, this article specifically focuses on the social aspects of polyamorous families’ experiences. We explored the impact of polyamory on one’s self identity, relationship structures, and experiences navigating the social world. Anyone who self-identified as polyamorous during pregnancy and birth, gave birth in Canada within 5 years, and received some prenatal care was eligible to participate in this study. Participants were recruited through social media and interviewed online or in person. Twenty-four participants were interviewed (11 birthing people and 13 of their partners). Thematic analysis was used to explore the data, and four primary themes were identified: deliberately planning families, more is more, presenting polyamory, and living in a mononormative world. Each theme was further broken down into a number of sub-themes. We also collaborated with research participants to create a glossary of terms. By exploring the pregnancy and birth experiences of polyamorous families and focusing on participant voices, this research adds to the limited research on polyamorous families and contributes to the process of breaking down stigma associated with alternative family structures. Further, by creating an accessible glossary of terms, researchers and lay persons alike have been given access to a meaningful resource.

A scoping review of research on polyamory and consensual non‐monogamy: Implications for a more inclusive family science

“…Studies reported on the ways in which polyfamilies faced stigmatization in institutional spaces and in their communities (Arseneau et al, 2019; Landry et al, 2021; Manley et al, 2018). Negative experiences were especially described in interactions with healthcare and legal systems in the context of childbirth and parenting (Arseneau et al, 2019; Landry et al, 2021; Strus & Polomeno, 2021).…”

“…The presence of multiple partners was found to be an important source of support during pregnancy and childbirth. A participant in one study reported how one partner was able to look after their child while she and her other partner were in the hospital as she went into labor (Landry et al, 2021).…”

“…Arseneau et al (2019) found that healthcare providers misidentified poly partners as "aunts" or other relatives, even after being explicitly told that they were the co-parents of the child. The lack of space to write names of multiple parents on healthcare forms was reported as a routine challenge that participants encountered (Landry et al, 2021). Polyamorous parents reported incorrect listings of parents on birth certificates; in the case of one family, officials insisted on listing the incorrect parent as the father on the birth certificate because state law stipulated that a married woman's husband is the legal father of any child she bears, even though the child's genetic parent was her other (extralegal) spouse (Sheff, 2011).…”

“…Researchers also have examined antecedents (Arter & Bunge, 2023) and outcomes (Balzarini, Dharma, Kohut, Campbell, et al, 2019; Balzarini, Dharma, Kohut, Holmes, et al, 2019) of CNM relational structures, often comparing monogamous relationships to nonmonogamous relationships on various indicators of well‐being. Researchers have explored polyamorous families, including the structures, processes, and experiences of polyamorous (co)parenting and the challenges of navigating institutional spaces (e.g., healthcare, legal systems) that privilege monogamy (Arseneau et al, 2019; Landry et al, 2021; Pain, 2020; Roodsaz, 2021). Studies also have investigated discourses and debates within polyamorous communities, such as community gatekeeping in poly spaces (i.e., judging what “counts” as polyamory) (Johnston, 2022) and tensions in poly activism (Aviram, 2008; Santos, 2019).…”

Parenting Consensual Non-Monogamists’ Perceptions of Parenthood, Intimacy, and Communication

“…Resilience theories gather around two critical components: a signi cant threat or stressor and positive adaptation to the situation despite the threat or stressor (34). The transition to parenthood is considered stressful in itself, so any changes that the participants may have experienced in emotional intimacy with a return to a positive level, may be partially attributed to their resilience (3,35).…”