Is Breaking Up Hard to Do? Exploring Emerging Adults' Perceived Abilities to End Romantic Relationships

Abstract

Objective To explore emerging adults' beliefs about their ability to end romantic relationships and to identify demographic, personality, and romantic experience factors associated with breakup beliefs. Background Although, ending relationships is a key component of emerging adult romantic development, research suggests that breakups tend to be protracted and painful. Little is known about what individual skills might be relevant in making breakups smoother for both members of a couple. Method Using a cross‐sectional design and drawing from an existing survey panel, 948 emerging adults completed an online survey about their romantic experiences and health outcomes. Results Most participants perceived that they can carry out breakup‐related tasks; they reported knowing when to break up, being able to do so appropriately, being able to accept it when someone breaks up with them, and not delaying breaking up. However, a sizable proportion of participants (23.5% to 47.1% depending on the item) reported that they lacked the skills necessary to end romantic relationships. Beliefs about the ability to end relationships were most consistently associated with emerging adults' general self‐efficacy. Conclusion Although most emerging adults in the sample appeared confident in their abilities to break up, a sizeable minority indicated that they lacked key skills to end relationships. Implications Relationship education programs for emerging adults generally do not focus on relationship dissolution. Yet our findings suggest that some emerging adults may need opportunities to build skills that will help them exit relationships that are unhealthy, unsatisfying, or out of sync with their individual goals.

Feeling Stuck: Exploring the Development of Felt Constraint in Romantic Relationships

“…Finally, relationship education curricula should include information about the steps and processes involved in ending romantic partnerships. In a recent study of emerging adults, Beckmeyer and Jamison (2019) found that approximately 25% to 30% of emerging adults perceive they are unable to carry out specific breakup tasks, such as identifying when to break up, following through with a breakup, accepting a partner wanting to break up, and not delaying breakups. In the present study, the primary barriers seemed to be knowing when to break up and not delaying the breakup, particularly when unexpected events happened that made the timing seem inopportune.…”

Identifying a Typology of Emerging Adult Romantic Relationships: Implications for Relationship Education

“…Emerging adults who see their exploratory relationships as potential long-term unions may benefit from resources and programs that help them communicate relational goals and expectations to their partners. Those who do not see long-term potential for their relationships may benefit from relationship education resources focused on determining when and how to end their relationships when they no longer meeting their needs (Beckmeyer & Jamison, 2019). Emerging adults in stuck or high-intensity relationships may need therapy in addition to relationship education.…”

When Love Just Ends: An Investigation of the Relationship Between Dysfunctional Behaviors, Attachment Styles, Gender, and Education Shortly After a Relationship Dissolution

“…Several studies hypothesized that people can effectively adjust to a loss when they reorganize their attachment system and no longer take into account the former partner as a “secure base” (Feeney and Monin, 2016 ; Guzmán-González et al, 2019 ; Kluwer et al, 2020 ), but less is known of the initial phases of the adjustment process, in terms of sociodemographic variables and attachment styles (Saffrey and Ehrenberg, 2007 ). Aspects, such as perceived self-efficacy, education, current relationship status, and romantic attachment styles are seen as key factors in the dissolution of a previous romantic involvement (Amato and Previti, 2003 ; Beckmeyer and Jamison, 2020 ; Karney, 2021 ).…”