Intensive mothering in hard times: Foucauldian ethical self-formation and cruel optimism

Abstract

Discourses of intensive mothering now seem to dominate European and American parenting cultures. This is a problem for those mothers who do not currently possess the resources to match up. In a study of Italian and British mothers who are experiencing low or reduced incomes, we observe the ways in which they internalize intensive mothering discourses through a process of ethical self-formation. This mode of self-formation involves detailed self-surveillance and self-discipline and abnegation of their own needs in place of other individual family members, and the family as a whole. We find a series of contradictory emotional effects which generate both pride and self-worth but also stress and anxiety. We advance the theory that mothers operate within an optimistic affective regime to make sense of these contradictory effects and retain a sense of agency and control over their lives and those of their families. However, drawing on Berlant’s concept of cruel optimism, we argue that such affective regimes may be very pernicious in their effects, only serving to hold mothers in a relation that is ultimately impassable and often unfulfilling.

#dadtribe: Performing Sharenting Labour to Commercialise Involved Fatherhood

“…Often using the stereotype of undomesticated dad (Gentry and Harrison 2010), this influencer implies that the main care responsibilities still rest on the shoulders of the mother (Cappellini et al 2019). As indicated in his response to a commenter who challenged him on his gender-biased declarations elsewhere, he seems to take such topics in jest:[@mum_follower:] “Who run the world - BOYS” - a bold statement to make when we all know that 90% of your followers are females.…”

“…@dad20's account in particular jumps out for the tone of voice that he uses to describe family responsibilities, which often clash with his family-oriented snapshots ( Figure 5). The content is humorous, using the stereotype of undomesticated dad (Gentry and Harrison 2010), and it implies that the main care responsibilities still rest on the shoulders of the mother (Cappellini et al 2019). As one of his commenters engaged him on another post, he seems to take such topics in jest:…”

“…Involved fatherhood goes against the grain of hegemonically prescribed male identities such as the absent breadwinner, which is assumed and sustained by the ideology of intensive mothering (Hays 1996). In this ideology, a ‘good’ mother is measured by her full and continuous attention to the child’s needs and wishes, her ability to rear the child in ‘appropriate’ ways, and to relegate every other personal or professional need to a secondary status (Cappellini et al 2019; Davies et al 2010; Hays 1996). Predicated on a patriarchal separation of the public and private spheres, intensive mothering places childrearing in the home, where mothers labour as the managers of the entrepreneurial household (e.g., Thompson, Henry, and Bardhi 2018) regardless of whether they are in employment outside the home (Thompson 1996).…”

“…They draw on ‘masculine’ values such as autonomy and espouse an attitude of ‘good enough’ to keep such anxieties at bay (Molander 2019). Furthermore, mothers still tend to be responsible for high-level household planning and coordination (Cappellini et al 2019; Hodkinson and Brooks 2018; Hogg, Curasi, and Maclaran 2004; Miller 2017; Shirani, Henwood, and Coltart 2012). Despite policy efforts to promote the role of the involved father (Faircloth 2014), government and NGO data in the United Kingdom show that the burden of childcare overwhelmingly lands on the mother’s shoulders (Olchawski 2016), that women are more likely to change their employment conditions for parenting reasons (ONS 2018), and that extended paternal leave remains uncommon (Kaufman 2018).…”

The continuing significance of social structure in liquid modernity

“…As we have shown in our own work (see, e.g. Cappellini et al, 2019), this is problematic for those excluded from such ideologies, primarily working-class mothers who ‘operate within a different ethical value system to the dominant symbolic’ (extract from Skeggs, 2004: 88). It is problematic since these women do not have financial resources, time, energy or disposition to engage in intensive mothering practices rendering them subject to judgement but also intensifying the guilt, stress and reflexivity surrounding mothering (Elliott et al, 2013; Hutton, 2015, 2019; Romagnoli and Wall, 2012).…”