Sodium chloride (NaCl) deicers contaminate bioretention and influence effluent water quality, the effects of which are not yet fully understood. We tested this by constructing 48 mesocosms in a greenhouse, each having Panicum virgatum, Eutrochium purpureum, or no vegetation; having an internal water storage (IWS) zone or not; and being exposed to high or low NaCl doses in the late winters of 2022 and 2023. Synthetic stormwater was applied and effluent was monitored through May 2023 with an end-of-experiment analysis of soil and plant biomass for nitrogen, phosphorus, copper, zinc, and total suspended solids (TSS). Average effluent loads increased in spring, after NaCl application, for total phosphorus (+61%), copper (+61%), zinc (+88%), and TSS (+66%). These four analytes recovered by summer, with average annual percent removals >85%. Vegetation and IWS reduced annual phosphorus (by −33 and −70%, respectively) and copper (by −24 and −40%) loads, while higher NaCl concentrations increased annual phosphorus (+107%), copper (+22%), and TSS (+51%) loads. Nitrogen removal was not linked with NaCl but was dependent upon the presence of IWS or vegetation. Post-NaCl effluent spikes pose seasonal risks to aquatic ecosystems, emphasizing the need for active maintenance, redundant removal mechanisms, and minimized exposure to NaCl.