This article argues the importance of ensuring initiatives aimed at improving children’s social and emotional well‐being are based on sound participatory principles. The discussion posits links between the recognition of children, dialogic approaches to participation, changing conceptualisations of children and childhood, and children’s well‐being. It explores these links in light of one particular initiative, Seasons for Growth (Graham, 1996, 2002, Seasons for Growth; Loss and Grief Education Program. MacKillop Foundation), an education programme built around emerging evidence that giving children a voice assists them to adapt to family change. The paper concludes with insights into what is involved when we locate notions of ‘having a say’ as a key element in promoting children’s well‐being.© 2010 The Author(s). Journal compilation 2010 National Children’s Bureau and Blackwell Publishing Limited.