I will keep your memory! Reasons for remembering lost loved ones

Abstract

Remembering the lost loved one is an integral part of bereavement process. While we know from prior research that memories in general are used for specific reasons (e.g., for identity processes or within social relationships), it is unclear for what reasons people remember their lost loved ones. Based on previous literature, we assumed that memory emotionality and bereavement reaction are associated with why people reminisce about their lost loved ones. In total, 100 adults reported up to 10 of their most important memories about a lost loved one and rated them regarding emotional valence, intensity and different types of memory use. Participants also rated their feelings of grief and personal growth post‐loss. Findings demonstrate that memories about lost loved ones are used in ways considered adaptive and maladaptive. Importantly, the reasons for remembering lost loved ones are strongly associated with emotional qualities of memories and the individual bereavement reaction.