“I Guess I’ll Never Know…”: Non-Initiators Account-Making After Being Ghosted

Ghosting is the practice of ending a relationship without explaining to the partner and avoiding any communication attempts. Orbiting is identical to ghosting, but the disengager still visibly follows the former partner on social media. Despite the increasing attention that ghosting and orbiting have gained in the popular press, they remain largely unexplored phenomena in scientific inquiry. In this work, we explored the psychological and behavioral reactions to ghosting and orbiting from the victim’s perspective, comparing them to the experience of being rejected through direct communication. Participants were randomly assigned to recall one of three conditions (ghosting, orbiting, and rejection), and the reports of 208 young adults were analyzed through qualitative thematic content analysis. The results described different stages of reactions that follow event detection and that are respectively characterized by 1) surprise and confusion, 2) anger, sadness, and guilt, 3) attempts of relational repair, 4) acceptance. The specificities of being a victim of ghosting and orbiting are presented, comparing them with social rejection. The results are discussed in the light of the existing literature on social exclusion, suggesting that ghosting and orbiting can be considered forms of ostracism. Connections between the proposed stage model and traditional relationship dissolution theories are highlighted, and relevant implications for future research and interventions are presented.

Section: Discussionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Section: Links With Relationship Dissolution Literaturementioning

confidence: 96%

Ghosting and orbiting: An analysis of victims’ experiences

Pancani

Mazzoni

Aureli

et al. 2021

“…A growing amount of research has focused on the relationship dissolution strategy of ghosting. Prior research has sought to define ghosting (Koessler et al, 2019b; LeFebvre et al, 2019), explore rates and perceptions of ghosting (Freedman et al, 2019; LeFebvre, 2017), understand motivations for using ghosting (Koessler et al, 2019a, 2019b; LeFebvre et al, 2019, 2020), describe reactions to ghosting experiences (LeFebvre & Fan, 2020; Manning et al, 2019, Timmermans et al, 2020), and has begun to explore individual differences in ghostees and ghosters (Freedman et al, 2019; Navarro et al, 2020). This set of studies had two purposes: (1) to broaden the research on individual differences in ghosting by examining the association between ghosting experiences and attachment, and (2) to replicate prior research on individual differences that had demonstrated an association between ghosting experiences and implicit theories of relationships.…”

Section: Discussionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…Individuals perceive a variety of motives for ghosting (Koessler et al, 2019a, 2019b; LeFebvre et al, 2019, 2020; Manning et al, 2019; Timmermans et al, 2020). Ghosting may be a favorable dissolution strategy for some: ghosters experience less distress than individuals who engage in more direct dissolution strategies (Koessler et al, 2019a).…”

Section: Ghostingmentioning

confidence: 99%

A multi-study examination of attachment and implicit theories of relationships in ghosting experiences

Powell

Freedman

Williams

et al. 2021

Ghosting is a dissolution strategy where the initiator ends all communication with the other person, ignoring attempts to reestablish the interaction. We examined the associations between attachment (i.e., anxiety/avoidance) and ghosting, and replicated previous work on implicit theories of relationships (i.e., growth/destiny) and ghosting. Study 1 ( N = 165) was an exploratory analysis of attachment and ghosting experiences, with those previously ghosted by a romantic partner reporting higher anxiety than those not previously ghosted by a romantic partner. Those who had ghosted a partner reported more avoidance than those who had not previously ghosted a partner. Study 2 ( N = 247) was a pre-registered replication of Study 1 and replication of ghosting and implicit theories. Study 3 was pre-registered and replicated the findings from Studies 1 and 2 with a substantially larger sample ( N = 863). Specifically, individuals who had been ghosted or had both ghosted and been ghosted reported significantly higher anxiety than those who had ghosted or had no prior ghosting experience. Individuals who had ghosted or had both ghosted and been ghosted reported significantly higher avoidance than those with no prior ghosting experience. Similarly, individuals who had ghosted or had both ghosted and been ghosted reported significantly higher destiny beliefs than those who had been ghosted or had no prior experience with ghosting. Finally, a meta-analysis across the three studies examined the strength of the associations between ghosting experiences and attachment. Taken together, these studies consistently demonstrate an association between attachment anxiety and being ghosted, as well as destiny beliefs and ghosting a romantic partner.

“…Ghosting is distinct from other relationship dissolution strategies because it does not clearly indicate to the target that the relationship has ended. Rather, the absence of communication leaves the target feeling “puzzled” (LeFebvre et al, 2020), speculating why the initiator has ceased contact (LeFebvre & Fan, 2020; Manning et al, 2019). Thus, ghosting can be considered a type of ostracism—a form of social exclusion by which a person is ignored or left out—that is used to end a relationship (Freedman et al, 2019).…”

Section: Ghostingmentioning

confidence: 99%

From Close to Ghost: Examining the Relationship Between the Need for Closure, Intentions to Ghost, and Reactions to Being Ghosted

Leckfor

Wood

Slatcher

et al. 2023

Ghosting—the act of ending a relationship by ceasing communication without explanation—is a type of ostracism that threatens a person’s basic psychological needs for belonging, self-esteem, meaningful existence, and control. The experience of ghosting creates uncertainty within the relationship and may vary based on individual differences in the need for closure, which is the desire to avoid ambiguity. Across three preregistered studies with emerging adults, we predicted that a greater need for closure would be associated with lower intentions to use ghosting (Studies 1 and 2) and lower needs satisfaction after being ghosted (Study 3). Results from Study 1 ( N = 553) and Study 2 ( N = 411) were inconsistent, but together indicate that a higher need for closure is not negatively associated—and may be positively associated—with ghosting intentions. In Study 3 ( N = 545), participants who recalled a time when they were ghosted reported lower needs satisfaction than included and directly rejected participants. Further, a higher need for closure was associated with lower needs satisfaction after being ghosted and after being directly rejected, but with greater needs satisfaction after being included. Overall, these findings suggest that the need for closure is less influential when deciding how to end a relationship, but it appears to play an important role in amplifying both positive and negative experiences within a relationship.