“I Come Out Because I Love You”: Positive Coming Out Experiences among Latter-day Saint Sexual and Gender Minorities

Abstract

Background Coming out conversations are pivotal and stressful experiences for sexual and gender minorities (SGMs). Coming out can lead to more affirmation, safety, confidence, and improved relationships. However, adverse coming out experiences can lead to damaged relationships and ostracization, which may be more likely in conservative religious contexts. Purpose The purpose of the current study was to explore what leads to positive coming out experiences for SGM members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Method A sample of 25 current or former Latter-day Saint (LDS) SGMs participated in semi-structured interviews, which were analyzed using thematic analysis. Results Participants reported five actions they did that contributed to a beneficial coming out experience: being selective, increasing self-understanding and acceptance, preparing before, decreasing pressure on self, and validating the relationship with the person they came out to. Participants further reported six responses from others that contributed to a beneficial coming out experience: showing loving acceptance, utilizing empathic listening skills, offering and expressing support, celebrating, affirming that the relationship is not changed, and advocating. Conclusions and Implications The present study extends current knowledge on coming out experiences by demonstrating specific beneficial approaches and responses to coming out. Given participants’ lack of focus on religiousness in their reports, these findings may be applicable to both religious and nonreligious SGMs. Our findings extend current knowledge on coming out experiences by demonstrating that both SGM approaches and others’ responses are critical to creating a more positive coming out conversation. Future research is needed to understand the efficacy and effects of these coming out approaches and responses.

Let’s get real: Identity concealment, burnout, and therapeutic relationship quality among psychology trainees with concealable stigmatized identities.

“…Although these strategies are designed to protect people from further rejection and emotional pain, they can become chronic and limit one’s ability to form and maintain close, meaningful, and authentic bonds with others. Further, relational–cultural theory asserts that people thrive in their respective environments through “mutually growth-fostering relationships.” Mutually growth-fostering relationships are characterized by “five good things”—clarity about oneself and relationships with others, sense of self-worth, sense of zest or energy, productivity or action-taking both inside and outside of a relationship, and the desire for more connection due to past satisfying, affirmative experiences—all of which are imperiled by stigma and can be fostered by increasing opportunities for authenticity and belonging (Alessi et al, 2019; Jordan, 2018; Mereish & Poteat, 2015; Skidmore et al, 2022).…”

A Relational-Cultural Approach to Examining Concealment among Latter-Day Saint Sexual Minorities

“…Latter-day Saint (LDS) sexual minorities often choose to conceal their sexual identity from others, particularly in religious spaces, in an effort to avoid membership consequences in addition to potential discrimination or ostracization (Skidmore et al 2022b). Such religiously motivated concealment relates to worsened mental health and social isolation (Stammwitz and Wessler 2021), with LDS sexual minorities who are more committed to their religion reporting more concealment of their identity (e.g., Skidmore et al 2022a). Further, religious commitment relates to an increase in feelings of social support and belongingness among fellow religious family and community members (e.g., Meanley et al 2016;Skidmore et al 2022a).…”

“…Such religiously motivated concealment relates to worsened mental health and social isolation (Stammwitz and Wessler 2021), with LDS sexual minorities who are more committed to their religion reporting more concealment of their identity (e.g., Skidmore et al 2022a). Further, religious commitment relates to an increase in feelings of social support and belongingness among fellow religious family and community members (e.g., Meanley et al 2016;Skidmore et al 2022a). The relationship between authenticity and religious commitment is less clear for LDS sexual minorities given the paucity of research in this area.…”

“…Thus, despite the distress typically associated with concealment efforts, the potential threats of openly identifying as a sexual minority in these contexts may seem to outweigh the consequences of concealment for sexual minorities in less-affirming religions. Alternatively, some religious sexual minorities may prioritize a continued sense of belonging to their religious group over authentic expression of their sexual identity, as is common for LDS sexual minorities (Skidmore et al 2022a). Religion and sexual orientation are each important components of an individuals' identity and navigating potentially conflicting aspects of identity is rarely straightforward.…”

“…Indeed, almost half of sexual minorities identify as religious, with nearly half of these affiliating with denominations that do not affirm same-gender sexual identities (Williams Institute 2020). While concealment may still be associated with various health risks for sexual minorities in less-affirming religions such as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (e.g., Legate et al 2012;Shilo et al 2016;Skidmore et al 2022a), it is possible that the threats to belonging to one's religious community are not worth the benefits of being open about one's identity for some sexual minorities.…”