Global river health is in a state of crisis. In the United States, roughly 46% of river length is classified as being in poor biological condition (US EPA, 2017). Survey results indicate similar trends worldwide (Vörösmarty et al., 2010). The main drivers of surface water impairment are nonpoint-source pollutants like sewage, nutrients, and sediments (Rowny & Stewart, 2012). Sewer overflows release pathogens that are attributable to roughly 3,400-5,600 cases of illness annually in the United States (US EPA, 2004). At the same time, excessive nutrient loads from agriculture result in harmful algal blooms that impair aquatic ecosystems and render water unsafe to drink (