How self-blame empowers and disempowers survivors of interpersonal trauma: An intuitive inquiry.

Abstract

This study explores the role of survivor self-blame in ego defense against trauma-induced experiences of powerlessness. Using the intuitive inquiry method, I interviewed 12 survivors of interpersonal trauma. Results reveal a complex, largely unconscious process between vulnerability, powerlessness, fear, and interpersonal trust. The process is twofold: (1) survivors equate vulnerability required for interpersonal trust with the fear and powerlessness associated with their trauma, and (2) survivors are in a trauma bond with self-blame that helps by protecting them from powerlessness and hurts by preventing them from coming home to vulnerability required for interpersonal trust.

Shame in Family Systems With Developmental Trauma

“…The east–west arrows represent the urge to hide from self (using addiction, distraction or dissociation), and to hide from others (isolation; Nathanson, 1997). These four impulses are adaptive in the short-term and can result in a relief of the emotional experience, but over the long term often serve to create, reinforce, or repeat shameful experiences and reinforce a deep sense of unworthiness (Unthank, 2019).…”

“…Unthank (2019) proposes that adult trauma survivors link the vulnerability necessary for close bonds with others to feelings of intolerable shame and fear rather than support. An individual then becomes stuck when relationships require vulnerability, as they react to the need for vulnerability by continually perpetuating violence toward themselves and others in order to regulate shame and fear that are linked to vulnerability (Unthank, 2019). In the short run, the violent reactions can result in a person feeling somewhat regulated, and an instinctive longing for wholeness and interpersonal trust is then returned.…”

“…In the short run, the violent reactions can result in a person feeling somewhat regulated, and an instinctive longing for wholeness and interpersonal trust is then returned. Relationships are attempted again, but when vulnerability inevitably becomes required to strengthen relationships, this can be experienced as an extreme threat to safety, and the avoidance/aggression urge and corresponding action occurs again (Unthank, 2019). This perspective on trauma survivors and the attempted regulation of shame may shed light in a family system where members reach toward each other and then apart in self-protection when vulnerability becomes too terrifying.…”

Cyber blame and social theory

“…This shows up in how persons try to cope. Unthank provides a detailed analysis of the way this plays out in the survival of sexual abuse in terms of being both empowering and dis-empowering ( 2019 ). Cyber blame can capture such multidirectional and opposite reactions from the same stimulus.…”

Intuitive inquiry: Inviting transformation and breakthrough insights in qualitative research.

“…However, although engaged in the study, she found herself plunged into resolving childhood memories of her aunt’s having been assaulted while running alone in the natural world. Likewise, in a study of survivors of interpersonal trauma, Katherine Unthank (2019) came to understand how survivors use self-blame to empower themselves from feeling powerless but paid the price of being disempowered from the capacity to be vulnerable, a quality essential for interpersonal trust in relationship to others.…”