“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not . . . ”

Abstract

This research qualifies a social psychological truism: that people like others who like them (the reciprocity principle). College women viewed the Facebook profiles of four male students who had previously seen their profiles. They were told that the men (a) liked them a lot, (b) liked them only an average amount, or (c) liked them either a lot or an average amount (uncertain condition). Comparison of the first two conditions yielded results consistent with the reciprocity principle. Participants were more attracted to men who liked them a lot than to men who liked them an average amount. Results for the uncertain condition, however, were consistent with research on the pleasures of uncertainty. Participants in the uncertain condition were most attracted to the men-even more attracted than were participants who were told that the men liked them a lot. Uncertain participants reported thinking about the men the most, and this increased their attraction toward the men.

Extension of the transdiagnostic model to focus on intolerance of uncertainty: A review of the literature and implications for treatment.

“…Participants who uttered uncertain phrases demonstrated increased curiosity and produced more intense emotional reactions compared with participants who uttered phrases reflecting certainty (Bar Anan et al, 2009). In a second study examining attractiveness using Facebook profiles, uncertainty was manipulated in female college students (Whitchurch, Wilson, & Gilbert, 2010). In the uncertain condition, participants were told that attractive male college students may or may not have liked them.…”

Understanding the attraction process

“…The motive for human's behavior for TDMA aligns with the motives proposed by other models of interpersonal relationships. The emphasis on the other person's ability to facilitate the perceiver's goals-and trust that the other person will do so-aligns well with interdependence theory (Kelley, 1979;Rusbult & Van Lange, 2008) and equity theory (Walster, Walster, & Berschied, 1978), among other approaches. This consistency allows for tremendous theoretical integration and refinement, and for testable predictions that extend far beyond the narrow band of phenomena usually considered under the purview of attraction.…”

“…In the context of rejection in a romantic relationship, anger may result when people feel misled by the rejector's previous statements of trust/commitment (e.g., "I gave you everything because you told me that you loved me!") or when they feel they have invested more in the relationship than the rejector (Walster et al, 1978). Anger is then expressed to recalibrate the social exchange in the perceiver's favor (Sell, Tooby, & Cosmides, 2009).…”

Further Exploring the Relation Between Uncertainty and Attraction

“…However, although Whitchurch et al (2011) concluded that uncertainty led to "romantic attraction," their measure was primarily a measure of behavioral intentions. Of their six questions, four were behavioral (interest in class project, friend, hook up with, and potential boyfriend), one was affective (how much do you like), and one is best considered as a precursor to attraction (perception of similarity).…”

“…First, a trust-based approach hypothesizes that an individual would select (as an index of behavioral attraction) most frequently a partner associated with certainty of liking, whereas the positive-consequences approach hypothesizes that an individual would select most frequently those persons associated with uncertainty (Hypothesis 1). Second, the trust-based approach posits that uncertainty should not necessarily produce affective attraction, whereas the positive-consequences approach posits that uncertainty produces "romantic attraction," which manifests itself as affective and behavioral attraction (Whitchurch et al, 2011;Hypothesis 2). And third, whereas the positive-consequences approach submits that such behavioral attraction is mediated by romantic desires/interests, the trust-based approach posits that any increase in behavioral attraction is mediated by a motivation to reduce uncertainty (Hypothesis 3).…”