“He is lovely and awful”: The challenges of being close to an individual with alcohol problems

Abstract

Introduction: In the last 20 years, there has been growing evidence that heavy drinking causes serious harm not only to the person who drinks but also to the person's relations and concerned significant others (CSOs). A relationship with a heavy drinker is often full of conflicts, and CSOs are frequently exposed to aggression, psychological, and sometimes physical violence from the heavy drinker. Despite their struggles, CSOs often feel it is difficult to seek professional help for these problems. The aim of this study was to investigate what problems CSOs of people with alcohol problems experience prior to seeking professional help to handle these issues. Moreover, to investigate what led to seeking professional help at all. Methods: This is a qualitative study with 12 female help-seeking CSOs of persons with alcohol problems. The participants were recruited from a randomised controlled trial (RCT) on Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT). Semi-structured interviews were conducted, audio-recorded, and transcribed. The analysis was based on interpretative phenomenological analysis. Results: Three overall themes and one sub-theme emerged from the analysis: (1) The CSO’s feelings and experiences of the situation prior to help-seeking, (2) The relationship with the drinker, (3) Reasons for help-seeking and its trajectory; and the sub-theme, What the CSOs hoped to gain from help-seeking. Conclusion: The present study showed that female CSOs of people with alcohol problems had suffered for a long time before seeking professional help. They felt their daily lives were unpredictable and stressful. They were often exposed to verbal and mental abuse and their relationships with the drinking relative were often characterised by frequent rowing. The CSOs had tried to cope for a long time using a number of different strategies; seeking help seemed to be the last option considered. Despite all the struggles and pain, the CSOs also felt a lot of love for their drinking relative and hoped for the return of their once sober relative. Our findings can be viewed as a support to the stress-strain-coping-support (SSCS) model proposed by Orford and colleagues.

Family’ members experiences of their older relative’s alcohol and substance misuse

“…These experiences are commonly reported in the literature, and appear not to decrease with age. In spite of these experiences, help was not considered to be readily available or easily accessed (Hellum et al, 2021 ; McCann & Lubman, 2018a ). The associated psychological stress, insecurity, and anxiety have clear mental and physical health implication over time, as documented in several studies and a recent review (Di Sarno et al, 2021 ; Kristiansen & Myhra, 2012 , pp.…”

The lived experiences of the spouses of alcohol dependent partners: a phenomenological study

“…This was coded trust in spouse and acceptance. Some of the women sought help from family in time of need, "Yes, I am getting support" (P2), "support from family" (P2, 6,7,10,11). These statements have been coded as seeking support from family .…”

“…6 The existing literature examined shows that there is a large body of significant work done on alcohol use disorders and the consequences for the individual, which include health concerns, lack of productivity and financial difficulties. Studies from across the globe and a meta-analysis from 10 countries 7 reported that AUD is also linked to numerous consequences for the women of AUD partners like stigma, 8 social isolation, 9 neglect, 10 marital conflicts, 9,11,12 health concerns, [9][10][11] injury 12,13 and violence 9,12,13 and financial difficulties. 9,11 Further, women had to abandon their dreams and self-care, overloaded with the care of family and had to maintain the family.…”

“…Studies from across the globe and a meta-analysis from 10 countries 7 reported that AUD is also linked to numerous consequences for the women of AUD partners like stigma, 8 social isolation, 9 neglect, 10 marital conflicts, 9,11,12 health concerns, [9][10][11] injury 12,13 and violence 9,12,13 and financial difficulties. 9,11 Further, women had to abandon their dreams and self-care, overloaded with the care of family and had to maintain the family. 14,15 Although addiction treatment has been around for many decades, it largely focuses on the person with AUD and neglected family members.…”

Potential factors affecting the impact of Community Reinforcement and Family Training. Secondary Analysis of an RCT

“…Despite of the negative effects alcohol causes, CSOs are highly concerned and worried for the IP's health and wellbeing (10,14). Therefore, CSOs are often highly motivated to help the IP to become sober or to a reduction in drinking (15).…”