Giving up and giving in: The costs and benefits of daily sacrifice in intimate relationships.

Abstract

This research provided the first empirical investigation of how approach and avoidance motives for sacrifice in intimate relationships are associated with personal well-being and relationship quality. In Study 1, the nature of everyday sacrifices made by dating partners was examined, and a measure of approach and avoidance motives for sacrifice was developed. In Study 2, which was a 2-week daily experience study of college students in dating relationships, specific predictions from the theoretical model were tested and both longitudinal and dyadic components were included. Whereas approach motives for sacrifice were positively associated with personal well-being and relationship quality, avoidance motives for sacrifice were negatively associated with personal well-being and relationship quality. Sacrificing for avoidance motives was particularly detrimental to the maintenance of relationships over time. Perceptions of a partner's motives for sacrifice were also associated with well-being and relationship quality. Implications for the conceptualization of relationship maintenance processes along these 2 dimensions are discussed.

The Friendly Taking Effect: How Interpersonal Closeness Leads to Seemingly Selfish Yet Jointly Maximizing Choice

“…Indeed, past research has shown increased closeness can lead people to treat others better, which seems to imply increased giving and decreased taking (Clark 1983;Rusbult et al 2004). For instance, people behave more prosaically toward closer others, offering more support (Brunstein, Dangelmayer, and Schultheiss 1996) and making more personal sacrifices (Agnew and Etcheverry 2006;Impett, Gable, and Peplau 2005;Powell and Van Vugt 2003). Most related to the current research, some research suggests people sometimes take less from close others when deciding how to allocate resources (Aron et al 1991).…”

Rain on my parade: Perceiving low self-esteem in close others hinders positive self-disclosure

“…that people were other-focused -that they deprived LSEs of their good news because they thought it was best for their loved one. Indeed, people who are invested in a relationship often make sacrifices for the well-being of their loved one and their relationship (Impett, Gable, & Peplau, 2005;Rusbult, Verette, Whitney, Slovik, & Lipkus, 1991). Nevertheless, it"s possible that participants did not actually have other-focused concerns; perhaps they only reported them because it is socially desirable to be concerned about others.…”

Good days, bad days

“…We asked participants about 12 possible types of sacrifices, or changes, they made for their partner in the past 24 hours. These items were selected based on measures of sacrifice by Whitton et al (2007) and Impett et al (2005). We wanted to measure sacrifices carried out daily that were routine (e.g., schedule, household tasks), short term (e.g., time with friends), and more long term (e.g., finances).…”

“…First, sacrificing one's own outcomes should enhance relationship quality constructs in both partners (typically commitment; Kelley, 1979). Further, although other important characteristics of sacrifices exist (e.g., personal or situational factors that may make more frequent sacrifices less beneficial; Rusbult & Van Lange, 2003), other researchers have studied frequency of sacrifice (Impett, Gable, & Peplau, 2005;Van Lange et al, 1997;Whitton, Stanley, & Markman, 2007), and this offers us a point in which to continue and add to the study of linkages between sacrifices and relationship quality constructs.…”

“…First, daily studies of sacrifice are rare (for exceptions see Impett et al, 2005;Ruppel & Curran, 2012;Totenhagen & Curran, 2011). A more basic understanding of how sacrifices are associated with same-day relationship quality constructs is warranted before moving onto more nuanced investigations of how these associations may differ from one day to the next or how they may affect longevity of relationships.…”