Gay and Lesbian Collaborative Co-Parenting in New Zealand and the United Kingdom: ‘The Law Doesn’t Protect the Third Parent’

Abstract

In many jurisdictions, legislation reflects, retains and reiterates heteronormative two-parent models of family. Lesbian and gay individuals and an increasing number of heterosexual individuals who choose to parent outside the paradigm of the conjugal couple relationship find neither their interests nor the welfare of their children is sufficiently protected in law. This article is based on the findings of two empirical research projects investigating the procreative autonomy of lesbians and gay men in New Zealand and the United Kingdom. It focuses on collaborative co-parenting families formed by lesbian couples and gay men, with reference to the allocation of legal parenthood in these kinds of families and case law across both jurisdictions. Two such families are introduced. Attention is drawn to the ways the law hampers these families’ preferred parenting arrangements. The article highlights the need for legislative change. It concludes that a more flexible, inclusive concept of legal parenthood that honours the intentions of those involved in these arrangements would potentially benefit all people interested in non-traditional parenting.

“We Are Three Parents, but Legally Two”: Absent Legality, Present Display

“…Law means for its legal subjects that their families are valued (Baumle and Compton, 2015, p. 121). The allocation of full legal status to only two parents of the plus-two-parent constellation brings along a complex set of possible legal relations (Cahn, 2015, p. 502), meaning that multiple parent families navigate the law and its obstacles in day-to-day life (Surtees & Bremner, 2019, 515). The interplay between the social practices of multiparenthood and its lack of representation within the legal field is what I believe to be a core aspect of external family display.…”

“…Earlier studies have explored (potential) prospective parents’ views on different pathways to LGBTQ parenthood (e.g., Pralat, 2018) and parents’ views on biogenetic relatedness within parental projects between gay and lesbian individuals (e.g., Herbrand, 2018; Ryan-Flood, 2005; Smietana et al, 2014). Yet, the ways in which plus-two-parent families “engage” with the law that is not accommodating them generally remains underexplored (see, e.g., Cahn, 2015; Surtees & Bremner, 2019).…”