“Funerals aren’t nice but it couldn’t have been nicer”. The makings of a good funeral

Abstract

There is growing comment in both academic and popular writing about the shape and content of funerals today, with general agreement that we are seeing marked changes with a growing trend towards secularisation and personalisation. Despite this, there is as yet relatively little systematic research on the topic. This article reports on a study funded by the Arts and Humanities Research Council UK into spirituality in contemporary funerals. This qualitative study centred around case studies of 46 funerals in the north of England and gathered data from observations of funeral arrangement meetings as well as the funeral and semi-structured interviews with bereaved families and funeral professionals. The way both sets of participants engaged with the funeral and its constituent elements in an active process of meaning-seeking, meaning-creating and meaningtaking was closely aligned with contemporary understandings of humanistic spirituality. There was, however, little evidence of adherence to formal religious belief systems or wider philosophical frameworks amongst the bereaved families but considerable evidence of drawing on religious tradition and specific beliefs to locate personal meaning-making. The authors conclude that the funeral remains a significant ceremonial event which is psycho-social-spiritual in character and purpose.

Funerals against death

“…Holloway et al, 2010, p. 123). Such representatives of the deceased person’s affections, interests and activities can combine to represent the deceased’s life:

I attended as a representative of the village amateur dramatic group, which was started by R over twenty years ago.

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“…It is important to those arranging the funeral that the eulogy present a full and accurate representation of the person who has died (Caswell, 2011; Holloway et al, 2010). M-O correspondents concurred with this, both praising occasions when it happened and criticising funerals when it did not:

I had been impressed at the full description that was given of my aunt’s life, rather than just the passing references that you sometimes get in ‘church’ ceremonies.

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“…Mourners saw the congregation as a tribute to the value of the life that was being commemorated (Grainger, 1997; Holloway et al, 2010):Yes, it was a good Funeral, and would, I think, have surprised the deceased, to see just how many lives he had touched during his own life. ( M2061, female, 80 )…”

“…Thus, a recent Scottish study interviewed 56 funeral professionals and 10 bereaved people who had arranged a funeral (Caswell, 2009). A major study in the north of England researched 46 funerals by observing the pre-funeral meetings between the client and funeral director and (where permitted) minister or celebrant, observing the funeral, interviewing one or two principal mourners after the funeral and interviewing funeral professionals (Holloway, Adamson, Argyrou, Draper, & Mariau, 2010, 2013). Though the former study is contextualised within the Scottish community, and the latter included observations of the composition of each funeral’s total congregation and recognised its significance, each interviewed only funeral professionals, their clients and family members very close to the client.…”

“…(We use the generic term officiant to cover both.) Most funerals now include a eulogy, spoken by the officiant and/or one or more friend or family member, and – as in several other countries such as the USA (Garces-Foley & Holcomb, 2005), New Zealand (Schäfer, 2011), The Netherlands (Quartier, 2009) and Belgium (Vandendorpe, 2000) – officiant and close family collaborate to construct a funeral that reflects the deceased’s unique character (Holloway et al, 2010). It is to the eulogy that we now turn.…”