From safety in silence to speaking up for LGBTQ+ families: A reflection on the personal, professional, and political through a feminist lens

Abstract

In this article, I employ a feminist perspective in examining the interconnections across my personal, professional, and political activities. Rather than smoothing out the inconsistencies, tensions, and difficult spots, I strive to engage with them as points of entry to deeper knowledge and understanding. I begin by discussing elements of my personal upbringing, and the ways that it shaped my lens on families and my interest in the hidden and less understood aspects of family life. I then examine my professional career and trajectory, and how it has shifted alongside changes in the sociopolitical landscape, the evolution of scholarship in LGBTQ+ families, and my own privilege. I also explore how I have grappled with but also leveraged the politicized and political nature of my research, and sought to be an agent of change beyond the four walls of the university. I end with my thoughts on the benefits of this type of reflexive exercise for new and seasoned scholars.

Cherished families, unspoken truths: Navigating hidden and challenging family experiences while growing up with LGBTQ parents

“…Such concealment may have mental and physical health consequences, and points to the need for parents, teachers, and health providers to normalize support-seeking for children of LGBTQ parents and to facilitate access to LGBTQ-savvy therapists (Telingator et al, 2020). At the same time, the extra burden placed on certain families to appear highly resilient or even perfect is rooted in the structural systems that oppress minoritized families (Allen, 2023;Anderson, 2019;Connidis, 2015;Goldberg, 2023b;Reczek, 2016).…”

“…In turn, just as scholars of Black family resilience have pointed out (Anderson, 2019;Roberts, 2022), we cannot simply acknowledge LGBTQ families for their resilience in the face of minority stressors; we must work to radically upend inequitable societal structures and practices to uplift all families. Further, while we can acknowledge that LGBTQ families today have more options to help their children feel safe and affirmed than in earlier generations (Epstein-Fine & Zook, 2018;Garner, 2004;Goldberg, 2023aGoldberg, , 2023b, we must not overlook the work left to do to ensure that such families are treated equally in the eyes of the law, and by members of the communities in which they live. Recent social-political events reveal just how insecure LGBTQ family rights are (Goldberg, 2023a).…”

“…Left ignored, difficult topics further disadvantage historically marginalized families through invisibility and silence. Much can be learned from the perspectives of family members who have lived with stigma and challenges and found productive ways to thrive (Allen, 2023;Goldberg, 2023b;Sanner, 2023). Taking an integrative theoretical approach in which we examined hidden family topics in LGBTQ families by addressing stigma management and disclosure, minority family stresses, and queer resistance through an overarching life course perspective, we found evidence that these families are indeed complex, and the adults reared in such families were well aware of the array of difficulties that their families faced.…”

“…Studying complex and difficult topics among LGBTQ families requires sensitivity and grace, bringing hidden family experiences out of the shadows in such a way that can enhance knowledge and decrease stigma (Allen, 2023;Goldberg, 2023b). Indeed, secrecy surrounding the sensitive nature of certain family-related topics and experiences only serves to contribute to and reinforce the stigma of such experiences (Frith et al, 2018).…”

LGBTQ family building: A guide for prospective parents. By Abbie E.Goldberg, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 2022. pp. 295. $16.99 (paperback). ISBN: 978‐1‐4338‐3392‐2

“…But resilience perspectives will only get us so far. As Goldberg (2023) recently emphasized, one‐dimensional portrayals of resilience run the risk of boxing LGBTQ families into monolithic narratives. Anderson (2019), in her discussion of resilience among Black families, argued, “One significant perspective that is lacking from most of the literature on resilience theory is how families might be negatively affected by efforts to keep striving despite pervasive challenges and hardships that plague their daily experiences” (p. 387; Bryant et al, 2021).…”