Flirting in online dating: Giving empirical grounds to flirtatious implicitness

Abstract

Various fields have examined the activity of flirting, predominantly based on experimental and reported data; the interactional workings are therefore often overlooked. Based on emails and chats from two Danish online dating sites, this article investigates how users negotiate romantic connections through the flirting strategy of 'imagined togetherness', linguistically constructing imagery of a shared future. Using the notion of the chronotope (Bakhtin 1981), turn-by-turn analysis demonstrates how users, embedded in the activity of getting to know each other, tenuously communicate romantic interest by alluding to future points at which they might be together. Central to the strategy is a sequential pattern of avoiding closure and thereby preserving the imagery's implicitness. The article concludes by arguing that while imagined togetherness functions to probe as a way of probing interests and thus protects oneself from potential rejection, it also draws on fundamental dynamics of fantasy in nourishing the excitement of romantic possibility.

4. The Care of the Selfie: Ludic Chronotopes of Baifumei in Online China

“…*Re, however, gets treated to repeated and emphatic verbal and nonverbal expressions of love and intimacy. Such moments of direct address in interaction shape the kind of ludic "imagined togetherness" (Mortensen, 2017) which is a key feature of online flirting, and which is much coveted by male audience members. All of this evolves in the highly specific contours of the online livestreaming chronotope, in which such ludic roles, relationships and practices can be enacted as features of "normal" interactional conduct.…”

The Language of Online Child Sexual Groomers - A Corpus Assisted Discourse Study of Intentions, Requests and Grooming Duration

“…Flirting in online dating spaces has been the subject of previous research, albeit not a significant amount since 'romantic interpersonal communication has been termed a 'black box' in language and interaction research' (Mortensen, 2017: 582) because people are understandably reluctant to give researchers access to their spontaneous, private and intimate conversations. Mortensen (2017) analysed flirting in digital language (Instant Messages and emails) taken from two Danish online dating sites to find out how people negotiate romantic connections in an online space. The author focused on implicitness as an overlooked but 'key aspect of flirtation' (Mortensen, 2017: 583).…”

“…We know, for example, that groomers also use flirting strategies to build a deceptive bond with their targets (Black et al, 2015;. Linguistic strategies used by adults engaged in online dating are an imagined togetherness, constructing a shared future, avoiding closure, and postponing pleasure, among others, which are used to advance online romantic relationships that might not transcend this online space (Mortensen, 2017). Other strategies include laughter, represented by onomatopoeia, emoticons, and acronyms.…”

“…Example 53 shows that groomers imagine hypothetical scenario and fantasise about sexual scenarios with the target. The concepts of 'shared fantasy construction' (Mortensen, 2017: 582) and 'postponement of pleasure' (Mortensen, 2017: 594) were also found to be a feature in a study of flirting in online dating (Mortensen, 2017).…”

“…Physical appearance and clothes the target wears are used to gain sexual gratification by fantasising about the target and creating hypothetical future scenarios in which the groomer and target spend time together and have sex. This imagined shared fantasy and postponement of pleasure are a strategy used in online flirting (Mortensen, 2017). Groomers request photos of the target wearing minimal clothing, ask them if they shave and use praise and sexual compliments, which contributes to both developing deceptive trust and seeking sexual gratification and are specific linguistic realisations of the sexual gratification grooming intention.…”