‘Femme it Up or Dress it Down’: Appearance and Bisexual Women in Monogamous Relationships

Abstract

This paper reports on findings from a qualitative study into the lived experience of bisexual women in monogamous relationships. Nineteen selfidentified bisexual women from across the UK, who were either in a monogamous relationship or desired to be in one, were explored. Participants completed diaries and took part in telephone interviews. The data was analysed using Template Analysis (King, 2004) which identified themes from the data set. It appeared that women in different-gender relationships choose appearance markers that could be classed as lesbian orientated in a bid to illuminate their bisexuality. Women in same-gender relationships were more likely to opt for feminine appearance signifiers in a bid to avoid being identified as a lesbian based solely on their appearance. The study suggests that the gender of participants' partners matters with regards to their appearance decisions. However, despite the apparent influence of their partner's gender, bisexual women demonstrated a degree of flexibility and fluidity in their appearance choices.

‘What do bisexuals look like? I don’t know!’ Visibility, gender, and safety among plurisexuals

“…As a result, participants suggested that interpreting plurisexuality was done by ‘spotting people who are doing their gender a bit wrong’ (Jessie, 44, bisexual, female/genderqueer/enby). The way in which participants described this process fell in line with Daly et al’s (2018) suggestion of bisexual women adopting a chameleon-like presentation which communicated femininity and masculinity simultaneously or being serially dependent on context. However, some participants decidedly leaned into visions of masculinity or femininity to communicate their sexual identities.…”

“…In these ways, plurisexuals are operating from a space of invisibility. Many plurisexuals -in this study and others -have expressed their desire to be visible (Daly et al, 2018;Hartman, 2013;Hartman-Linck, 2014;Lynch and Maree, 2017). It is important to question what visibility may mean here.…”

“…As demonstrated in Stan’s comment, these participants felt that the consciousness with which they chose their clothes was a performance, a characterization of themselves that was deliberate as opposed to spontaneous. Participants felt that the stereotypical gendering of clothes to illustrate sexual identity was limiting, however adopted – as Daly et al (2018) term it – a chameleon-like behaviour in adopting masculine or feminine clothes dependent on context to demonstrate their sexual identities. However, most people were not interpreted as plurisexual, and – as in Stan’s case – many participants were unsure about how their performative and expressive dress related to their own gender identities.…”

“…Participants felt that the stereotypical gendering of clothes to illustrate sexual identity was limiting, however adoptedas Daly et al term ita chameleon-like behavior in adopting masculine or feminine clothes dependent on context to demonstrate their sexual identities (Daly, King and Yeadon-Lee, 2018). However, most people were not interpreted as plurisexual, and -as in Stan's casemany participants were unsure about how their performative and expressive dress related to their own gender identities.…”

“…Research into plurisexual appearance has shown that there are a distinct lack of visual codes to draw on when attempting to look plurisexual (Clarke and Turner, 2007;Clarke and Spence, 2013;Hayfield et al, 2013) and people are generally unable to describe what a plurisexual might look like (Hayfield et al, 2013). Recent UK research into monogamous bisexual women found that women mediated their appearance by both using and subverting femininity/masculinity to look more or less queer, often adapting their appearances based on the gender of their partner (Daly, King and Yeadon-Lee, 2018). A South African study of bisexual women found that women both use and resist hetero-gendered norms and sexual scripts to expand and subvert gender binaries, resulting in a 'slow bending' of norms (Lynch and Maree, 2017).…”