Father-to-Father Support: Fathers of Children with Cancer Share Their Experience

Abstract

Fathers are important to the stability of the family and to the coping of mothers and their children when there is a child in treatment with cancer. The vulnerability they experience is stupefying and causes self-doubt, general worry, and frustration with the medical care they receive. Fathers' experiences are relatively unreported in the literature, and even less so, the experiences of fathers with children who have cancer. This research is based on two focus groups of five men each who spoke unabashedly for more than 2 hours about their grief, their struggle to come to terms with the diagnosis and the role strain, and role confusion they experienced as fathers and husbands. The findings could be described as reflecting the following themes: (1) impact on the provider role, (2) the emotional impact: I cry privately, (3) it's the fight of our lives, (4) tag-team parenting, (5) hypervigilance, (6) that place is scary!, and (7) what happens next--coping and moving on. The group format was powerful in terms of what these men were willing to share of themselves and their experience. These groups could be characterized as the coming together of strangers, bound by the common experience of "cancer," who actively supported each other and each other's process. Implications for holistic nursing practice are provided.

Stress and marital adjustment in families of children with cancer

“…Marital adjustment, treatment-related events, general negative events, and economic strain stressors may become distressed, while when stressor frequency is low, happily married couples may show a renewed strengthening of their marital bond over time. Stressor frequency may thus explain differences in trajectories of marital adjustment in other studies 7,8,11,13. Interestingly, treatment intensity and perception of life threat were not related to marital adjustment.…”

“…Some noted a decrease in marital relationship quality, 7,8 particularly in the area of intimacy. [9][10][11][12] Other found improvements in the marital relationship 13 or that partners reported stable levels of relationship quality. 11 One explanation for these conflicting conclusions is that there may be considerable interfamily variability.…”

“…[9][10][11][12] Other found improvements in the marital relationship 13 or that partners reported stable levels of relationship quality. 11 One explanation for these conflicting conclusions is that there may be considerable interfamily variability. Indeed, Katz et al 14 recently reported individual differences in the trajectory of marital adjustment across the first year of treatment such that some families remained stable, some declined, and some improved.…”

The Lived Experience of Fathers Whose Children Are Diagnosed with a Genetic Disorder

“…First, father's reactions to childbirth and disability in their offspring differ from other family members (O'Leary & Thorwick, 2006;Pelchat, Levert, & Bourgeois-Guérin, 2009;Ware & Raval, 2007). Second, paternal stressors are generally related to financial issues, other family commitments, and feelings of incompetence surrounding the care of a child whether a disability exists (Barclay & Lupton, 1999;Baum, 2004;Neil-Urban & Jones, 2002). Third, a father's needs for education concerning the cause of disease, care of the child, and prognosis are not being adequately addressed (Barclay & Lupton, 1999;Dellve et al, 2006;Fletcher, Vimpani, Russell, & Sibbritt, 2008;Lernmark et al, 2004;Mackey & Goddard, 2006).…”

“…For fathers, stress related to juggling personal and professional commitments is a common reaction to the birth of a child. Add the diagnosis of genetic anomaly, and the result can be overpowering for some (Barclay & Lupton, 1999;Baum, 2004;Hallowell et al, 2006;Neil-Urban & Jones, 2002). The unpredicatable nature of many genetic disorders had the potential to escalate parental stress and create marital discord (Chesler & Parry, 2001;Pelchat et al, 2009).…”