Factors Preventing Gridlock in Chilean Couples’ Relationships Based on the Discourse of Couples Therapists and Highly Adjusted Couples

Abstract

The term gridlock describes the occurrence of rigid patterns in couples' conflict. This study aimed to describe strategies of conflict resolution and gridlock prevention from the perspectives of couples and couple therapists. Participants were couple therapists and highly adjusted couples scored by the dyadic adjustment scale (DAS), distributed according to traditional and non-traditional position in life and duration of relationships. Conflict gridlock scenarios were used to create video stimulus that were presented to participants. A qualitative methodology was used to analyse couples' and therapists' commentaries on the scenarios. Results showed differences in preventing conflict gridlock among sub-groups of couples. Long-term traditional couples focused on loyalty to a common project and value sacrificing to a higher good; long-term non-traditional couples prioritised caring and validating the bond in the relationship. Short-term traditional couples focused on mutual love and the relief of hurt while short-term non-traditional couples supported the value of equity.Keywords: conflict, couples, gridlock, intimacy, relationship, therapy Key Points1 Conflict is a normal part of couples' lives, enabling partners to redefine relational patterns and the overall sense of the relationship. 2 Problematic situations emerge when conflicts cannot be resolved, generating repetitive, inefficient, and dysfunctional behavioural patterns that transform conflict into gridlock. 3 Differences regarding the duration and traditional and non-traditional aspects of the relationship produce different challenges in the trajectory of the bond. 4 Therapists refer to strategies of breaking the interaction pattern to resolve severe gridlocked conflict and opening up new forms of interplay. 5 Different types of couples emphasise different strategies to prevent a gridlock situation, i.e., loyalty to a common project, passionate love, caring and equity.During the second half of the 20th century, with the increasing predominance of individual liberties over traditional behavioural models, the human couple underwent deep changes. Today the human couple is placed in an unprecedented setting characterised by the occurrence of fast social and technological transformations that develop speedily even within the same generation. These changes produce tensions in couple interaction which can be conceived as an emotional space where these tensions must be regulated by its members in a way to achieve the vital objectives of wellbeing,