Exploring the Effects of Sexual Desire Discrepancy Among Married Couples

Abstract

Previous studies have found associations between the individual discrepancy of desired sexual frequency and actual sexual frequency and relational outcomes among premarital couples. The present study extended this research by using a sample of 1,054 married couples to explore how actor and partner individual sexual desire discrepancy (SDD) scores were associated with relationship satisfaction, stability, communication, and conflict during marriage. All participants took an online survey which assessed both couple sexual dynamics and relationship outcomes. Findings suggested that higher actor individual SDD was generally associated with negative relational outcomes, including lower reported relationship satisfaction, stability, and more reported couple conflict. These effects were found after controlling for background factors, baseline sexual frequency and desire, and couple desire discrepancies. Some partner effects were also found and were generally in the same direction. Marital length did not moderate the effects found although gender moderated associations between individual SDD and reported couple communication. Negative associations between individual SDD and communication were particularly strong when the husband reported high discrepancies between desired and actual sexual frequency. Results suggested that higher individual sexual desire discrepancies among married individuals may undermine relationship well-being. Applications of these findings to a clinical setting are also discussed.

Sex in Midlife: Women's Sexual Experiences in Lesbian and Straight Marriages

“…Sexual satisfaction is positively associated with marital quality, and high levels of marital quality, in turn, predict marital stability (Yeh et al, 2006). Conversely, sexual dissatisfaction contributes to marital instability; discrepancies between one's desire for sex and reported frequency of sex with one's spouse predict lower levels of relationship satisfaction and perceptions of stability as well as higher levels of marital conflict and disruption (Brezsnyak & Whisman, 2004;Dzara, 2010;Willoughby, Farero, & Busby, 2014). Although frequency of sex tends to decline with age, Lindau et al (2007) report that the majority of adults aged 57 to 74 believe that sexuality is an important part of life.…”

Differences in Pornography Use Among Couples: Associations with Satisfaction, Stability, and Relationship Processes

“…A combined score still captures the overall influence but does not produce problematic results by introducing necessary variance between the discrepancy score and the combined score. While this does not allow for the specific investigation of male or female pornography use independently predicting couple-level outcomes, it does increase the confidence that difference scores are producing significant results independent of baseline measurements.Previousstudieshaveutilizedasimilarstrategytoexamine if discrepancy scores have unique contributions once baseline assessments are controlled for (Busby, Holman, & Neihuis, 2009;Willoughby, Farero, & Busby, 2014). Once computed, scores on total use ranged from 0 to 9 (M = 1.95, SD = 1.74).…”

Sex drive and sexual desire

“…A similar investigation found that individual discrepancy between sexual desire and sexual frequency was associated with negative marital outcomes [10]. However, this discrepancy was also shown to lead to positive outcomes if the relationship in question was in the earliest stages, possibly because it provided motivation to put more effort into supporting the relationship.…”