In the domain of unusually strong feelings and unexpectedly perseverant thoughts, perhaps the hardest thing to know is where we stop and others begin. This normal breach of the personal boundary makes it possible for us to know others intersubjectively by attuning to ourselves. Others can also know us to the extent that we share or project our feelings and inner processes.As psychotherapists, we share our inner processes judiciously (although more may come across than we consciously intend), but we generously use the data provided to us to shape our responses to clients. Even when we choose not to make an intervention, an appreciation of the interpersonal and intersubjective field (perceived consciously, preconsciously, and unconsciously) creates the conditions for empathy and the basis of understanding. When we are sensitive to what the other is sending our way (even if we have a negative initial response or don't fully comprehend its significance), we are more able to accept projections and affects and not retaliate by automatically passing back our complementary conflicts in defensive counterattack (i.e., through countertransference reactions or dueling projective identifications).