Examination of Parenting Styles of Processing Emotions and Differentiation of Self

Abstract

Gottman and associates theorized emotion coaching, parents’ processing of negative emotions with children, as important for children’s later development. Bowen viewed differentiation, the balance between emotional and cognitive reactions to one’s family of origin, as an important developmental process. However, research has not specified parenting methods that foster healthy differentiation. The authors hypothesized adults with emotion-coaching parents have healthier differentiation than those parented with other styles. A total of 254 (129 female, 124 male) participants completed surveys measuring perception of parenting styles and differentiation of self. For male participants, perceiving their parents as having a disapproving style was associated with a poor sense of self. For female participants, high levels of fusion and low levels of emotional cutoff were associated with low emotion-coaching parents and disapproving mothers. Implications and limitations are discussed.

Differentiation of Self and Dyadic Adjustment in Couple Relationships: A Dyadic Analysis Using the Actor‐Partner Interdependence Model

“…In recent years, many studies have proposed that differentiation of self is an important predictor of the quality of romantic relationships, and there are many reports that individuals and couples who report good self‐differentiation are more satisfied with their intimate relationships and experience less relational conflict than those who report fusion with others, emotional reactivity, or emotional cut‐off (Anderson & Sabatelli, ; Aryamanesh et al., ; Knauth & Skowron, ; Lampis, ; Lampis, Cataudella, Busonera, & Skowron, ; Mohsenian, Karamlo, & Ganjavi, ; Peleg, ; Rodríguez‐González et al., ; Sabatelli & Bartle‐Haring, ; Skowron, ). These findings also are consistent with research (Gubbins et al., ; Schwartz, Thigpen, & Montgomery, ) trying to connect Bowen's theory self‐differentiation with Gottman's model of marital interactions (Gottman, ; Gottman & DeClaire, ; Gottman & Silver, ) and with research showing that spouses’ differentiation from their birth family was associated with emotional flooding during arguments and marital satisfaction (Gubbins et al., ) and with failure to create a stable sense of self (Schwartz, Thigpen, & Montgomery, ).…”

Relationships Between Married Couples’ Self-Differentiation/Individuation and Gottman’s Model of Marital Interactions

“…These percentages are high compared to percentages found in related studies. For example, Schwartz et al (2006), using canonical correlation procedures to examine relationships between Gottman's measure of parenting styles and a measure of Bowen's concept of differentiation of self, accounted for only 30% of the variance for the significant canonical root for men and 29% of the variance for the significant canonical root for women. Therefore, the findings from our study were more powerful and accounted for almost twice the amount of total variance for each canonical root.…”

Parenting Styles and Emotion Regulation: The Role of Behavioral and Psychological Control During Young Adulthood

“…As college-age students are becoming more behaviorally and emotionally autonomous from their parents, young adults need the opportunity to function independently from their parents. In a similar sample of young adults, contemporaneous relations were found between parenting styles and young adults' emotional outcomes related to differentiation and separation from one's parents (Schwartz et al 2006). Whether this independent functioning takes place within intimate relationships or early career opportunities, it may not be developmentally appropriate for parents to employ overly intrusive types of control at a time when young adults no longer need parental control.…”