“Enjoy Your Sexuality, but Do it in Secret”

Abstract

In the current study I used mixed methods to explore the messages that undergraduate women (n = 415) reported receiving from their male and female friends regarding sex and romantic relationships. Reports of friends’ messages varied widely and entailed both support for and criticism of sexual gatekeeping and sex positivity (e.g., sexual agency) and advice regarding sex and romantic relationships. Four individuals, including the author, developed codes to examine this wide range of responses to sexual expectations and prohibitions and independently and reliably coded the data. Response patterns illustrate that reports of female friends’ messages were typically longer and more nuanced than reports of male friends’ messages. Sex-positive messages and sexual gatekeeping messages were frequently reported simultaneously, and this pattern of co-occurrence illustrates the tensions between diverse discourses regarding women’s sexuality. The diversity in reports of friends’ messages challenges popular notions that friends’ influences are wholly problematic and highlights a need for more gender-focused sex education curricula.

Hooking Up and the “Ritual Retelling”: Gender Beliefs in Post-hookup Conversations with Same-sex and Cross-sex Friends

“…Nevertheless, compared to men's conversations, the findings reflect that women's conversations about hookups would foreground feelings, as the relational orientation and sexual double standard suggest. Furthermore, the results are in line with Trinh's (2016) and Trinh and Ward's (2016) findings that young women receive mixed messages from their same-sex friends that not only promote sexual gatekeeping, especially by encouraging relationships, but also allow for women's sexual pleasure. As found in other studies, the details that men would be most likely to share with their same-sex best friends reflect a more recreational orientation that includes encouraging casual sexual encounters and an emphasis on performance (Currier 2013;Knight et al 2012) along with a particular focus on women's bodies (Flood 2008;Wade 2017).…”

“…Research suggests that adolescent girls view their same-sex friendship groups, in contrast to their wider circle of peers, as safe spaces for discussing romantic and sexual activity, free of judgment (Lyons et al 2011). However, undergraduate women appear to receive complicated and, at times, contradictory messages about sex from same-sex friends that often combine sex positivity with the encouragement of sexual gatekeeping (Trinh 2016). Women also report receiving messages that highlight different sexual scripts, or sets of commonly communicated "sexual values" (Trinh and Ward 2016:298), from their female and male peer groups.…”

Social Media Contributions to Strong Black Woman Ideal Endorsement and Black Women’s Mental Health

“…In response to the second and third questions, participants used a 5-point scale (1 ¼ never to 5 ¼ very regularly, usually once a week). As in previous studies (e.g., Fletcher et al, 2015;Trinh, 2016), a mean score was computed across the items (a ¼ .90), such that higher scores indicated greater religiosity.…”

“No messages needed—Just pats on the back”: Exploring young men’s reports of male and female friends’ sexual communications.

“…Little is known regarding the conversations about sex that take place among young men and their female friends. It is possible that men may receive few sex-positive messages from their female friends because women’s interest in and enjoyment of sex remains largely taboo, especially if such experiences occur outside serious romantic relationships (Rubin, 1984; Tolman, 2002; Trinh, 2016). Alternatively, it is possible that female friends may promote similar messages to young men as do male friends, given the rigid expectations for men to possess and act upon their supposedly insatiable sex drive (Kimmel, 2009).…”

“…This gap in the literature reflects a longstanding focus on same-sex friendships, which is understandable given the prevalence of sex segregation across the lifespan (Mehta & Strough, 2009). If women convey to men the messages that they themselves often receive—messages that idealize committed relationships, promote caution, and emphasize sexual risks (Trinh, 2016)—then women may be a rare source of serious messages in men’s sexual socialization. Supporting this possibility is the finding that undergraduate men have reported receiving more messages about the importance of relationships from their female friends than from their male friends (Trinh & Ward, 2016).…”