Engaging Men in Couples Counseling: Strategies for Overcoming Ambivalence and Inexpressiveness

Abstract

Greater attention in scholarly literature has recently been drawn to the unique mental health and clinical needs of men. This article summarizes the existing literature on engaging men in couples counseling. Specifically, strategies are presented to assist counselors to (a) address the help-seeking process for men, (b) assess the role of masculine socialization on presenting concerns and for the process of counseling, and (c) help counselors work with male discomfort with emotions. Clinical examples and vignettes are offered to highlight how these strategies can be applied in couples counseling.

Prison-based relationship counselling: service user perceptions and implications for resettlement

“…Previous research has confirmed that men are typically less likely to seek relationship counselling services than women (Englar-Carlson & Shepard, 2005;Robertson & Fitzgerald, 1992). Despite this reluctance, a growing body of research proposes that men are more receptive to engaging with counselling services during incarceration (Minatrea & Kolbert, 2003;Showalter & Jones, 1980) suggesting that, as with engaging men in prison-based parenting education (Meek, 2007), prison can be an effective context in which to work with men who would be less likely to seek counselling services in a community setting.…”

Deepening Empathy in Men Using a Musical Chronology and the Emerging Life Song

“…Research has shown that relating to and expressing their own emotions can be challenging for some men (Englar‐Carlson & Shepard, 2005; Englar‐Carlson, Stevens, & Scholz, 2010). Counseling work can help men develop the language to understand and communicate their emotional states (Englar‐Carlson & Shepard, 2005).…”

“…Research has shown that relating to and expressing their own emotions can be challenging for some men (Englar‐Carlson & Shepard, 2005; Englar‐Carlson, Stevens, & Scholz, 2010). Counseling work can help men develop the language to understand and communicate their emotional states (Englar‐Carlson & Shepard, 2005). However, men may also see counseling as an acknowledgement of weakness or as a relational process that does not match their masculine self‐concept (Shepard, 2005; Smiler, 2004).…”

“…Counselors working with men have an opportunity to use men's strengths, the counseling relationship, and popular cultural resources to promote empathy and build genuine and relational confidence. A strength‐based perspective draws on men's natural resources and promotes the potential for them to develop genuine empathic skills (Englar‐Carlson & Shepard, 2005; Kiselica & Englar‐Carlson, 2010). The counseling relationship is integral to this work (Norcross & Wampold, 2011).…”

“…Researchers noted that music facilitates memories and emotions (Jäncke, 2008) and may activate the same neural pathways associated with empathy (Overy & Molnar‐Szakacs, 2009). As previous research has shown, some men have limited language for their emotional experiences and struggle to find the words and concepts associated with their feelings (Englar‐Carlson & Shepard, 2005). A Musical Chronology can be a way for men to identify words and develop a cognitive complexity around the feelings that music can evoke.…”