Emotions and empathic imagination: parents relating to norms of work, parenthood and gender equality

Abstract

This article examines how Swedish parents relate emotionally to norms regarding parenthood, work and gender equality. Drawing on semi-structured interviews with seven mothers and six fathers, and using perspectives from the sociology of emotions, the article shows how norms influence parents’ lives through the feelings they evoke and prescribe, and how these emotions are managed. The parents’ responses reveal how they managed emotions via ‘empathic imagination’ of their children’s feelings in relation to gendered norms of parenthood and ideals of a ‘good childhood’. The ideals of gender eq)uality in relation to work–life balance were found to include gendered emotion regimes, enabling fathers to feel pleasure and comfort as the emotion rules converged with those of involved parenthood, while mothers faced conflicting emotion regimes. Some parents were able to negotiate norms through their emotion work, making certain transgressions of norms unproblematic or sometimes even a source of pride.

Between Standards and Voluntariness

“…Feelings can be recognised as being experienced and expressed in relation to someone or something else (Björk, 2017;Leavitt, 1996) while being context dependent, intertwined with normative understandings, and simultaneously an individual and collective process (Gleisner and Siwe, 2020;Gleisner, 2013;Cottingham and Erickson, 2020;Lindén, 2020).…”

The joy of foodwork: allergies, gendered foodwork and emotion work in parenting advice, 1991–2020

“…Emotion work is the effort "to shape, evoke, or suppress a feeling" (Hochschild 1979, 561). Hochschild's analysis focuses on emotion management, aligning what someone feels and what they want to feel, such as feeling badly for not enjoying playing with one's children (Björk 2018). Chin (2000) closely follows Hochschild's definition of emotion work, noting parents' efforts to "deliberately" evoke and display an emotion.…”

“…We follow these definitions, rather than broader conceptions of emotion work as soothing or complimenting children (see Minnotte, Pedersen, and Mannon 2010). Overall, emotion work is very gendered, with women more likely to engage in emotion work connected to foodwork, and other aspects of child-rearing, sustaining kin relationships and household management (Björk 2018;Brown and DeRycke 2010). Hochschild (1979) presents two types of emotion work: suppression and evocation (1979,561).…”

“…This may involve expressive efforts, displaying a sentiment that is not genuinely felt (Hochschild 1979). For example: parents may feel they should conjure emotions they do not feel, such as coaxing themselves to feel and display enthusiasm despite not always enjoying spending time with children (Björk 2018;Lois 2012; see also Chin 2000). Suppression and evocation are not mutually exclusive; parents may experience both.…”

Avsked i coronatider

“…Genom att styra sina föreställningar om sina anhörigas situation och känslor, kan intervjupersonerna också forma sina egna känslor . En känsla av betydelse i omsorgsrelationer är skuld (Björk 2018) . Skuld orsakas av känslan av att ha svikit någon man känner ansvar för (Kemper 2007) .…”