Don’t miss the forest for the trees: New recommendations for exploiting guilt and shame in self‐control conflicts

Abstract

Guilt and shame, two negative self‐conscious emotions, have drawn theoretical and empirical attention in studying self‐control. Although a functionalist view suggests that their reparative tendencies would help combat self‐control failures, the evidence is equivocal. In this review, we begin with a systematic analysis of how the context of self‐control conflicts allows mood management to dominate reparative control as the primary means of regulating guilt and shame and, subsequently, sours the potential benefits of mood management. Then, inspired by the emerging literature of strategic indulgence and a multilevel perspective on self‐control, we propose that people should adopt a tolerant view of indulgence at the behavioral level while channeling the reparative tendencies of guilt and shame at the strategy (behavioral plans) and the system (goal balance) levels. When appraising and regulating self‐control, thus, focusing on the forest rather than the trees may help capitalize on the benefits of guilt and shame.