This essay builds upon the current movement around publicly engaged scholarship, seeking to illuminate its challenges, risks, and rewards through a self-reflexive narrative. The author, as a community engaged scholar midway to tenure within the academy, attempts to situate herself within this larger milieu, uncover the assumptions under which she has operated, explore the impact of the publicly engaged work she has done, and clarify the impact she hopes this work has. The narrative extends recent discussions within the field, narrowing a gap in the service-learning and community engagement scholarship by drawing attention to the impact of collaborative engagement on academic-practitioners. The essay seeks to both increase the intentionality, courage, and humility with which engaged scholars enter and exit the space of others, and encourage the self-care and self-awareness needed for the long haul.