“…If we define doctoral socialization as interacting and integrating into an environment to become a part of that group (Johnson et al, 2017), then doctoral socialization occurs when a student engages with other members of the doctoral culture-fellow students, faculty, and staff-so the student becomes familiar enough with the norms and expectations, the skills, abilities, and even values of their departments to eventually become a member of the community. Recent attention has been given to socializing doctoral students into their future professions (Elliot et al, 2019;Rubinstein-Avila & Maranzana, 2015;Russell et al, 2016) and the benefits of mentoring (Anekstein & Vereen, 2018;Duffy, et al, 2018;Esposito et al, 2017;Malin & Hackmann, 2016); however, less attention has been given to the experiences of incoming students as they navigate the unfamiliar territory of new expectations and academic uncertainty during their first year of doctoral coursework, and even less attention has been given to students resistant to social learning. This article fills that gap by sharing an autoethnographic narrative of my adaptation process during the first year of my doctoral program.…”