Disenfranchised grief in historical and cultural perspective.

Abstract

Every concept has a biography or a history of how that concept was born, developed, and matured. The concept of disenfranchised grief began in a graduate seminar on aging that 1 was teaching early in the 1980s. As we were exploring widowhood in later life, one of my students, a middle-aged woman, remarked: "If you think widows have it rough, you ought to see what happens when your ex-spouse dies." I was intrigued by her comment, and I asked her if she would share her experiences. She did. She had been divorced. Two years after her divorce, her ex-husband died of cancer. The divorce had been angry and painful; she had caught him having an affair with a neighbor whom she had viewed as a friend. She spoke of the awkward experiences in visiting her ex-husband at the hospital and attending his subsequent funeral. The woman found little support as she struggled with her ambivalence and grief in the aftermath of that death. They had been divorced, her friends and family surmised, so why would she feel grief? Some friends even ventured that it was a sweet revenge. She noted that she had to take vacation days to attend the funeral because her workplace bereavement policies offered leave only for present spouses-not past ones.Although it was compelling enough in itself, her narrative resonated with me for another reason. I had been asked to present a paper at a Foundation of 223

Communicating Social Support to Grieving Clients: The Veterinarians' View

“…Unfortunately, many people do not find the social support they need when grieving over the loss or potential loss of a pet (Baydak, 2000;Hall et al, 2004;Meyers, 2002;Zasloff, 1992). Social support and the ability to confide in others have been shown to be important elements in weathering bereavement (Doka, 2002(Doka, , 2008Pennebaker, 1990;Pennebaker & O'Heeron, 1984). The adjustment process for the loss of a pet, however, may be hindered by a lack of social support and opportunities for healthy confiding in others (Beck & Katcher, 1983;Quackenbush, 1982;C.…”

“…However, not everyone regards pet 700 M. D. Pilgram loss as a significant loss (Meyers, 2002), so those grieving the loss of a pet may experience disenfranchised grief (Doka, 2002(Doka, , 2008. Disenfranchised grief is defined as grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported (Doka, 2002(Doka, , 2008. Unfortunately, many people do not find the social support they need when grieving over the loss or potential loss of a pet (Baydak, 2000;Hall et al, 2004;Meyers, 2002;Zasloff, 1992).…”

There’s No Place Like Home: Preparing Children for Geographical and Relational Attachment Disruptions Following Parental Death to Cancer

“…Place attachment disruptions are amplified if children do not have adequate information (Bowlby 1988), prior connections to people and places are stronger, the loss of space is not socially acknowledged, resources are scarcer afterwards, and the resulting changes are more pervasive (Brown and Perkins 1992). Loss of place must be grieved like more visibly and socially acknowledged losses (Doka 2008;Werner-Lin and Moro 2004). Further, children who believe that they are responsible for the traumas that lead to their relocation (i.e., for their parents' divorce or a parent's terminal illness) will encounter greater difficulty in making significant changes (Fogerty 2000;Goldman 2002), such as transitioning out of their old space and into their new living environments.…”

Wounded healer: Psychotherapist grief over a client's death.

“…validated (Doka, 2008). "How psychotherapists experience a patient's death can determine their attitudes and approaches toward issues related to death, dying, and suicide."…”