This article presents an approach based on differential evolution (DE) for extracting coupling matrix (CM) and the uneven unloaded Qs from measured S‐parameters of a narrow band coaxial‐resonator filter with losses. Different from analytical extraction methods and traditional optimization methods, nonideal effects and uneven‐Qs are chosen as unknown parameters to be optimized. In the optimization process, the polynomials of the S‐parameters of a filter can be obtained by the Cauchy method after the unknown parameters are given. Once the rational polynomials having been obtained; the CM with an assigned topology can be extracted. The DE approach will obtain optimal parameters when the difference between the measured S‐parameters and the extracted S‐parameters is minimized, and then the CM and the unloaded Qs of each resonator can be determined using well established techniques. The approach is useful and can be used in computer‐aided turning of microwave filters. Two examples are presented to illustrate the validity of the proposed method.